Intellectual Badass

Chapter 1: Intellectual Ex-girlfriend

Then, I did the unthinkably awesome. I punched him in the face and he dropped down and started bawling, I was laughing my ass off. "This is just for fun." Standing above him, I kicked him where the sun doesn't shine and I swear I think he fainted. Sucks for him I'm kickass at Kung Fu. Bring it on loser cow! ...and welcome detention room... oops.

And scene!

I should introduce myself. I'm Persephone Wayland as you probably guessed, but my friends call me Persy or Pers. I live in Calee49a (California, home of the 49ers Woo!), and am in my junior year of High School, and I don't really like dances or guys. Like seriously people are you going to spend valuable money going to a place where people just dry hump, become deaf, and sweat like a polar bear in Death Valley, while girls try to look slutty for guys and guys try to look macho? Of course i go to some anyways, but only like half of them. P.S. I LOVE WATCHING FOOTBALL!!!! But our school's team is so stuck up. It's like that cliche thingy where the football team dates the cheerleaders and shit like that.

My buddies are Julienne Taylor and Ashley Spencer. Ask anyone what our social grouping is (nerd, popular, badass, etc.) you shall get an array of answers that will confuse you to death.

I am a strange combination, I don't like doing illegal things, drinking, doing drugs, going to excessive amounts of parties or dances (some are fine), and the other common teenage activity *ahem*just like a nerdy good girl. I also have the brain of a nerd, I just don't use it as much as nerdy nerds do. But I still maintain mostly As with one or two B+s with a GPA of around 3.8-4.0. Finally, I have a rebellious streak that is "totally legal". but at the same time I have broken a few school rules, ditched class, and received detention, but who cares right? I like to call myself an intellectual badass, i even have a t-shirt that says it. what can I say? I'm special.

Some people call me a bitch, but who cares, social status isn't everything and they just call me that because of my candor. For you folks out there who have never seen that word before it means frankness or extreme honesty.

I am sometimes so blunt that its scary, like when i talk to someone for the first time i immediately classify them bitch/dick, to be decided, another random person, or prospective friend. There are plenty of other categories, but that is for another time. If they are in the bitch zone I will mutter bitch, slut, dickhead, or asshole when they walk by. And I absolutely despise popular kids who are all about the body and the makeup and how slutty, excuse me, sexy *cough* they look, and the guys who are players and are always like " Im sexy and i know it." I'm also as violent as hell and I'm pretty sure I scare half the guys that are my fellow juniors, but enough about me, time to describe my friends.

Julienne Taylor has been my best friend since kindergarten. Most people call her Julie, but I call her Jules. She has dirty blond hair that she usually wears in a braid, Katniss style. She has green-blue eyes and a spray of freckles across her nose. She's a smarty pants (>4.0), but shes really fun to hang out with. She's not like nerds at all, she acts like a total rebel sometimes. She loves going to dances and parties, but doesn't drink much and stays pretty sober. Lets classify her an intellectual rebel. (Not quite as badass as I am)

Ashley Spencer, known commonly as Ash, is my 'lets go crazy and do random things' friend. She has brown hair that she usually wears in a ponytail. We have made up parodies and random inside jokes together and say the sort of stuff that makes strangers go "what is wrong with those people? Do they need to go to a mental asylum?" She's really nice to everyone, even the mean bitches. I think I would call her a Crazy Samaritan, but she's awesome.

Now that we are done with introductions lets get back to the story.

Today is a Saturday, 12:30pm, I swear I worship this day like no other. My parents were on a business trip as usual and I was left in the house, but my neighbor Sarah checks on me because she's close friends with my parents. I sometimes babysit her adorable 2 year old, Detryn (Deetrin). That kid is too cute for words.