Three Crazy Weeks With You ➳ Larry Stylinson ✓

Chapter Thirteen

She looked at me and was trying to figure me out then said,”Louis, thaa’s great, but why are you not happy about it?”

I felt a tear fall down my cheek and then I said,”I don’t know I mean I really like him, Hannah, I do, but I just I-I just.”  

Hannah pulled me into her arms and I started crying a bit more.  Then after a few moments she said,”It’s okay to feel confused Lou.  When Lauren and I first started dating I was just like you.  I really wanted her, but I didn’t know what it all meant.  It was all too new and confusing.  I think you should do some research and find who you are.  I found out that it was okay to feel this way, and that I really liked her.  I tried to see who I was, and what it all meant by searching the internet, and learning about myself.  I found out I was a Bisexual, and that made me feel better, because I finally knew what I was.  Maybe it will help you too, Lou.”

I wiped my tears away and looked up at her.  She was so great, and I was so glad I had her to help me through this.  It must have really sucked for her because she was alone in it all.  I smiled up at her and said,”Thanks, Hannah.  I am really glad I could talk to you, and I think I am gonna try what you said.”

She smiled reassuringly back at me and said,”I really hope it helps, and just so you know I think you two are quite adorable together.  I think Harry really likes you so don’t mess it up, okay?”

I laughed a bit and said,”I won’t”

“Okay, well, I will leave you too it then.”,she said and left closing the door behind her.

I got up and went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.  I looked exactly the same as I did a few weeks ago before I met Harry.  My hair was the same, my face was the same, and my body was the same.  I appeared to be the same old Louis as always.  I sighed because I knew I wasn’t the same Louis.  I was different now.  I walked back into my room and sat down on my desk and opened my computer.  i waited for it to turn on and once it was all booted up I clicked to open a browser.  I went to google and then was stumped.  What was I supposed to search?  Help, I don’t know who I am?  I chuckled a bit at this and then decided to search How do you know your gay?

I scrolled through the result and noticed there is a gay test.  I click on even though i know it is probably not gonna help but I have all day why not have some fun with this.  The test asked some very personal questions and for some I really didn’t know how to answer.  In the end it said I was 50% straight and 50% gay.  That was very helpful. . not.

I continued to search for results on peoples actually personal experiences.  They all called what I am going through as coming out to myself.  I guess it was kinda true I mean I was trying to find out who I actually am.  I went back to google and searched coming out to myself.  I found an article done but the University of Ohio and thought I would give a look.  

It told me to ask myself this, have I ever had a crush on or been in love with someone of the same sex?  My thoughts turned to Harry and I knew that I had.  Yes.  Point gay.  I went to more places and answered more questions like, Do you feel attracted to the opposite sex?  Yes.  Point Straight.  Would you date both sexes?  Yes.  Point Bi.  As the questions went on I kept finding myself at liking both.  I wanted both.  The thing that was holding me back was I didn’t know if I like all guys or just Harry.  Maybe he was a one time thing?  I thought to investigate this.