A shy girl in high school

6th to 8th grade

Honestly? My first year of high school was crappy. Really really crappy.

I had few friends and many people found me annoying- and some still do.

I was on my schools drill team, but you could tell I was definitely the worst dancer there.

I had exceptional grades, but they were bad enough I had to retake every test I took to get a B- or higher.

But, the worst part of my whole year? I had bad friends.

Not the kind of friends that drink, smoke, and have sex when their 15; but the completely inattentive, dull, and blunt friend. We first became friends in 6th grade.

My single parent mother had a teaching job at my middle school. I had a few friends but I was starting to tell people giving me weird looks and I was really uncomfortable with it. I didn't tell any adults about it, because I was unsure about it myself.

Anyways, almost the whole year I would go to lunch in my moms class room and if I ever had any free time, I would go in her room and hang out with my mom. We had (and still do) a great relationship.

My parents had divorced just a year or two before my 6th grade year, so it was already some hard times mixed in with school pressures. My mom was still coping, and decided that we needed a family vacation.

She secretly planned a week long trip to Disneyland for me and my special needs sister. It would be a week away from school, and right before summer vacation so it was just the perfect time to go.

My mom was telling all of her students to prepare themselves, because she would be gone for a week during the last month of school. Well, during all of this preparation she accidentally leaked To all of the other 6th graders where we would be going.

Soon after everyone knew, a girl named Annie walked up to my mom and asked if she could pay her way, and come with us to Disney land. My mom didn't think anything of it and said of course as long as you can pay.

My mom told me later that day who was going to be our newest guest on the trip. I was excited not only because I was going on a trip with a new friend, but because maybe she could help me make new friends.

We started hanging out and eating lunch together. I mean, I didn't even know the girl at all and we had to become friends some how.

Disney land went great, although there were some randomly awkward moments between us.

We get back home and we are the bestest friends possible. Matching outfits and everything. That summer goes by and we see each other once in a while.

Everyone knew we would always be besties because if that Disneyland trip, but oh how things have changed.

When I first met Annie I thought she was popular and amazing, but over the last couple years, she's totally changed.

Everyone changes and that's a good thing! But not in our friendship. We went from being alike, to two completely different people.

7th grade, in my eyes was okay. I sat with Annie at lunch and I thought everything was great.

You know how in different states, the laws for how old you have to be to drive are different? In Idaho, you have to be 14 1/2 in order to drive because that's the age your brain has developed enough to notice different details.

I was to young to notice the details of our friendship failing.

At the beginning of the year, during lunch we would talk and laugh and everything was good. Later that year, all Annie would do during lunch was read books.

I'm not saying reading books is bad, but it hurt our friendship because she was practically shutting me out and going into her own reading world. I love reading too, but this was just too much.

Literally though. I would go buy my lunch and sit down by Annie. She always brought a home lunch so she was there first everyday. I would try to talk to her and sometimes we would get a conversation going, but I didn't really want to interrupt her reading because sometimes she was blunt and I didn't want to annoy my only friend.

This reading ( and being ignored really) goes on until the end of my 8th grade year.

I hid my sadness about friends really well. I got some new ones but they weren't the kind that would pick me to be a partner, so I was always one of the last ones to be picked.

I had a few classes with Annie but I had to work around her schedule to get them with her. She wasn't very helpful Whenever I wanted a class with her.

At the end of our 8th grade year she decided that during high school she would graduate with her associates degree. But, that meant lots of seriousness in high school classes.

I wanted to do it with her, but I figured out some things.
1. I skipped a grade already. So that should be enough academically for me.
2. I procrastinate so it would be kinda rude to the college level teachers.
3. I am the youngest in my grade and I don't think it would really be fair for me to see all of these other students getting ahead when I might be behind.

I decided not to do it, and my dad ( who I don't see very often) gave me some great advice. He said that his greatest regret during his schooling years, was not 'living it up' he said these exact words:
" you don't have to go crazy during high school, but please don't take it over the top with academics. Your only a teenager once and I want you to have fun. School is important, but leave all the jobs and degree's for your adult life.
I'm old and I don't think I have much time, but with the time I do have left, I want to see you have fun and be successful."

That really opened my eyes and in that moment I knew that some things needed changing.