「 lying against myself 」

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If I force myself to cry alone maybe I'll learn to love myself in public.
If I force the food down my throat maybe then it won't seem like I force it back up in the bathroom.
If I force myself to feel maybe then I'll actually understand what it's like to be real.
If I force myself to do everything normal maybe I won't have to pretend in the mirror either.
Maybe it's just another lie, but either way I'll believe it because lying is what i do best.

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