Words can hurt and I let it control the person that loved me. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to speak to her. I didn't want for her to be alive. I didn't eat because of her. I skipped meals because of her. She caused me so much emotional damage yet I'm crying over her.
I miss the way she would sing to me. I miss the way she'd dance around the room. I even miss her holding my hand as we crossed the street. I miss her sporadic cooking where she'd throw in whatever she found in the fridge into a pot. I wear one of her nightgowns when I sleep every night.
She would've been seventy-four today and I resented her. She apologized and I resented her. She cried as she held me for the last time and I still resented her for it.
I wish I hadn't let a few skips of the mouth effect my attitude towards her and towards myself. It took so much rebuilding after she was gone to love myself but I can't help but miss her.
I've cried every night this week knowing she's looking down at me.
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