Chapter 38

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Alana made her way to her studio. It was early in the morning, probably too early for anyone else to be there, the doors would just be opening. Breakfast time this morning had been horrible. Noah had said the bare minimum to her, hardly even looking at her and only doing so to put on a show of normality for Snow.

His eyes were the worst thing. Where once there was joy and light, now there was emptiness and pain. All she wanted to do was take him in her arms and let him know that she would never, ever do anything like that again. But she wasn't the one that could comfort him, not anymore.

When she managed to speak to him in their bedroom he hadn't answered back, giving her nothing but a stony wall of silence. When she had begged to talk, to explain, he had replied with a curt 'not now.' After more torturous silence as Alana sat on the bed, completely deflated, he turned to her and told her that he would watch over Snow today, that he would ensure that she was safe.

When Alana tried to say that she would stay with Snow he simply turned to her and repeated his words, a coldness in his voice that she had never heard before. It frightened her. There was nothing she could do or say to penetrate it, to make him listen, to make him love her again. She nodded her head slowly, agreeing to let him take Snow. She would be safe with him.

And so she headed out to the art college to work. It was the only time there was a chance when she wouldn't be obsessing about her situation. But when she arrived at her studio she immediately knew there was something wrong.

There was a large cupboard that she had against the back wall, the place where she kept her art supplies, her notebooks, everything she needed. Usually locked, the doors lay open slightly. She dashed over and opened the cupboard only to see that all her stuff had been reduced to a chaos.

Her heart pounded as she searched first for her laptop - the one she used for research and emails. It was gone. Then her notebooks - one in particular where she kept her ideas and contacts. Also gone. Photos of her, Noah, Snow. Gone. All the other stuff had been rifled through and throw into disarray.

'Him,' she hissed.

She slammed the doors shut and leaned back on them, breathing heavily and staring up at the ceiling in despair. Tears began to well in her eyes. When will this ever end? She picked up her bag and ran out of her studio, disturbed by the thought of him being in here and having her stuff. He could go through her emails, find out things about her. The notebooks too, they had her intimate thoughts in some of them.

She didn't even know where to go, she just knew she had to get away from where he had been. She walked fast, head down. But as she walked through the empty park she heard footsteps behind her. Then a shadow crept up too. At first she thought about running without even turning round but she heard a voice which made her gaze turn back.

'Alana,' he said. 'Please, Alana.'

He wore a simple white t-shirt and dark blue jeans.

'Just talk to me, for one minute.'

'Elias! I don't want to talk to you - ever again! Don't you see that? You've taken my stuff... I never, ever want you near me, or my family.'

'If you'd just let me talk to you for one minute.'

'There's nothing to say.'

'For us, there's always something to say.'

He stepped forward. Alana lifted her arms.

'Stay back, Elias. I'm warning you. Stay back!'

A look of hurt passed across his features.

'You hate me that much?'

'Yes!' she said. 'I do!'

'You could never... Not you...'

'Yes, Elias. I could and I do. Knowing you has ruined my whole life. I just want you to go away forever.'

His eyes widened with hurt, then they calmed down again.

'The only reason we should be talking about forever is the two of us.'

Alana rolled her eyes, fuming with frustration.

'There is no two of us,' she said. 'Do you not get it? It was one night and it's over. That one night has ruined everything .'

'Your husband. He's making you say this. He's manipulating you, maybe even hurting you?'

Alana let out a derisive laugh.

'You think he is doing those things? Oh my god. You need to get yourself some serious help, Elias.'

He smiled at that.

'She said the same.'

'What?'

He put his hands in his pockets. A single girl rode past them on a bike. She smiled at Elias and he half-smiled back. Have him! Alana wanted to shout. Please, just take him away!

'Do you mean Riley? What did you do with her?'

'Nothing,' he replied. 'Who cares about her? She doesn't even come close to you...'

'Oh god, please, Elias. Just stop.'

But he wasn't hearing her. God knows what he was hearing, but it wasn't reality. She turned around and began to walk home, as fast as she could. As she left him behind she could hear him calling her name, still trying to talk to her.


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