The new dawn | Levi x Reader | Zombie AU

The new dawn | Levi x Reader | Zombie AU (part 3)

After getting your leg patched up, and hearing that Connie will remain at the infirmary under supervision, you left to go wash the rest of the filth off of you. You wandered through the dark corridor with nothing but a flashlight providing you some vision ahead. The water barrels were at the other end of the main floor, past the canteen and through the few storage rooms.

You arrived to the common wash rooms, not hearing any sounds from the women's side, which meant that Mikasa and Annie had already left. The former employees' changing room was dark, and you used the little light you had to detect the piled up buckets near the large containers that held the water for washing.

Once you dipped the bucket full, you went to a couple of benches that stood near the row of showers that no longer worked. You had two towels with you, borrowed from the infirmary, and you drowned the smaller one into the water. The water is usually heated up during the washing hours, but in the middle of the night, cold water is all you get. This was simply another thing you couldn't be picky about, and actually, the cool touch of the wet fabric felt good against the aching shoulders that you began to clean first.

Footsteps hinted you of someone's presence, and you soon heard your name being called from outside the door. It was Levi, you knew from his voice.

"I'm here." you informed. "Is something wrong?"

"No." he remained behind the door. "I was just bringing you some clean clothes from upstairs, and Hanji mentioned you came in here, so I thought-"

"You can come inside. There's no one else here." you suggested. It felt awkward to speak to him through the door.

You leaned down to wet your hair, while the door opened with a light creak. Levi's flashlight brought busy lines of light across the tile floor, and as he made it beside you, he held the light upon your head to provide you a better vision.

"Thanks for the clothes." you looked at him from the upside down view, squeezing some of the murky water off to the floor.

Levi eyed at your still very much of a blood-gross hair, sighing at the sight of your useless effort to get all the dirt off. He lowered your stuff on the second chair and crouched before you and the bucket between your legs.

"Let me."

You barely managed to lift your head, when Levi was already pushing the flashlight in your possession. "Head down." he then ordered once his hands were free.

You pointed the light at his face, making him squint. "You think I can't handle my own hair?"

"Not when you can't see the dirt yourself." he pushed your hand to get the irritating ray off his sight. "You're gonna have a new species of life growing from the bacteria if you don't get rid off that shit." he stared at you in all seriousness. "Head down." he demanded again, pointing a finger at where he wanted your head.

True, you couldn't help but to agree, and your neck reached down once again. Levi squeezed the wet towel above your head, and the cold trails of water running across your neck made you shiver. You held the light pointed at your head, feeling Levi's digits massaging your scalp. It wasn't exactly a relaxing kind of sensation with having the cold water involved, but it still felt nice.

"Did you tell Erwin about what Connie said?" you decided to kill the silence.

"Yeah. He was interested, as I thought he would be. He's gonna talk with him tomorrow." Levi pulled out a leaf from your tangled locks. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, the leg hurts. The growler only scratched the muscle, though, so I had it easy this time. I need to lay back a few days and make sure the wounds stay clean."

"I wasn't talking about your leg."

"Oh..."

"I know you feel guilty for what happened to Mike, but no one blames you."

"So you told Erwin what happened?"

"Yea."

"And what? He's cool with the fact that it was my fault that he's dead?" you blurted out nervously, not believing him.

"He's not blaming you, or pissed off, if that's what worries you. You've done nothing to deserve hate on you."

"Yes I have. I killed a man."

"Considering why we were there in the first place, there was nothing wrong with not wanting to give up looking. We all take risks, and the outcome's either worth all the shit you have to go through, or it isn't. That's just how it is. Bad things happen, but you must move forward and learn how to live with it."

Levi drew a calming breath. "Also, I've come to realize that even the worst things can be turned into something good."

You think of his words for a moment. "We lost Mike, but found Connie..."

"Exactly. And if Connie can give us the solution we need, then we didn't lose Mike's life for nothing... And it's not just that. If you would've checked every part of the farm house back then, the growler may have never had his chance to bite you, and we wouldn't have immunity today."

"Actually, you are half to blame for what happened." you corrected. "You were in such a hurry to get me open the door that it got me distracted."

Levi hummed. "See? I was being an inpatient idiot and it almost cost your life. You wouldn't have been the first, and definitely not the last one dying over my actions. My point is, you're not the only one who's made mistakes. Many of us have been through the same. They know how it's like, they understand. No one is going to blame you or hate you, trust me."

You smiled at his words, actually feeling a bit better.

"I know exactly what you're going through, and here's an advice; let it go. No matter how fucking bad it hurts. It's all right to be sad and feel shitty about it, but don't let it take you over. I've been in that dark corner once, and it took a hell of a lot effort to get back up again. Don't you ever go there, (Name). You just keep going, all right?" Levi let go of your hair and reached out for the dry towel to set it over your shoulders.

You straightened your back and worked to dry your hair. Levi took back his flashlight, let his elbows rest against his thighs, and for a short moment you only stared at each other.

"I've seen countless of people die. I thought I was... used to it," you began with a quiet voice. "but this time it hit me really hard. It was like I was back being myself four years ago, that weak and scared girl who suddenly lived in a nightmare and didn't know what to do. For a long time I was only happy to survive another day, and I couldn't even sleep under the same roof with other people if I didn't hold a knife ready in my hand." you gave your hair one final squeeze with the towel and stopped. "But it's all different now."

Levi nodded. "For years I did my best to avoid letting people close. They'd either end up dead in no time, or others would try to kill me in my sleep. That's how I saw other people, until I came here. I got to know Erwin, everyone else, and suddenly life wasn't just about my own survival anymore."

"Heh," you smiled faintly. "We've both had quite a journey."

"Yea." Levi agreed. "But there's still a lot we haven't seen yet. The sanctuary, for starters."

"It might be everything we've ever wanted, or it's all our worst fears becoming true." you mused.

"Another risk." Levi gave you a hint of a smile. "but I think it's worth it."

You tilted your head playfully. "When did you become so optimistic?"

"Ever since you appeared to turn my orderly life upside down and making it better." Levi gave you the answer without a moment of hesitation.

You simply stared at him, taken off by his words. Then, a short chuckle left from you.

"Poor Connie must be so scared of you after all that talk in the car... imagine if he knew that you can be such a sweetheart sometimes." you teased him.

Your words had Levi looking at you dead in the eye. He rose on his feet and leaned to set his hands on your thighs. There he stood, his face right before yours. "Don't you dare tell him that or I'll have break your neck." he so seriously joked, before he closed the distance to kiss your lips.

How long has it been since you last kissed? You couldn't remember, but you were glad to be reminded of how it feels like.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." you smirked, loving the way he always manages to bring you up from the most darkest places of your mind. "Thank you. I feel much better now. And, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk for so long. I imagine it was hard for you to tell me the truth about... you know."

"It was." Levi admitted. "You know, we can talk about it, if you want? If there's anything on your mind, I'll listen."

You shook your head. "No, I don't think I want to... actually, I'd rather forget it ever happened." you admitted, even with the risk of hurting Levi's feelings.

"I see." Levi lowered his head. "To be honest, I'd prefer that, too. I still don't quite know how I feel about all of it, but it doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." a sad smile visited your lips.

Levi remained in his thoughts for a brief moment. "We can't go back and change things even if we wanted to. So, I say we move on?"

You nodded in agreement. "Yes, let's do that."

Levi sighed in relief. You inhaled a deep clear breath, and reached your arms to pull the man closer so you could hold him. Levi has never been much of a hugger, but you figured you both needed one now. You held him tight, apologizing, forgiving, and forgetting all the bad things in the world in this short moment. It was finally over, the tension, the ridiculous sulking and blaming. The air around you felt suddenly so much lighter. The heavy burden was finally lifted off from both of your shoulders. All was fine now.

Levi slowly backed away, looking at where your clean clothes waited on the chair. "I'll leave you change your clothes."

You watched him standing up, and he somehow seemed different from before. It was like you could now see a whole new side of him, like you were finally able to point some light into one of the many dark hallways in the depths of his mind.

"Get some sleep. You must be so tired." your voice remained as a whisper, a very gentle one. "I can manage from here."

Levi pointed the light towards the floor, and in the dark you couldn't see how his face really looked like. "All right. I'll come see you tomorrow, after we know more about Connie."

With that said, he turned to leave. The heavy door opened, and you heard his footsteps at the hallway, until the door pulled itself close again. There you sat, hair still wet and a single ray of light pointing at the wall before you, in a complete silence.