Masquerade

Fog

I lie in bed and try to allow my groggy head to pull itself together did I drink last night?

I'm realising quite quickly that my body is not responding to my thoughts as I try to open my eyes but to no avail. I try my fingers and toes but again nothing is happening.Sitting up is not an option right now either since everything feels a dead weight and numb. What the fuck?

I start to panic but I know that it won't do anything to help me except make me more stressed out. I hear beeping beside me and try to turn my head but again, nothing!. Right Lottie! You are alive but you are just exhausted. Your body is recovering from something, what that something is I don't know right now. Or what happens if I've been kidnapped? Was I on a job last night?

Trying to calm myself down I take long deep breaths in and out my nose and take comfort in the fact I can do that and even though the beeping is annoying I again try to take a positive from the fact that I can hear things around me.

Focusing on that I try to listen to what is going on and try to make sense of where I am but I can only hear the beeping and some ticking that I think is from a watch or clock nearby. Wherever I am smell like disinfectant, is warm and from the colour of my eyelids it appears bright so I am not hidden away somewhere dark or cold which can only be a good thing, right?

I try to open my eyes again for even a quick peak but it doesn't happen so I give up not wanting to set myself off again. Think Lottie what happened yesterday or day before? What day it is today?

Trying to think about the last day I remember I can only think back to being excited about he boy coming home. I'd said goodbye to Murray as he was going on a job... did I join him on it? I think I spoke to Mrs Rose? Argh! This is so frustrating.

The door opening brings me out of my musing and I try to keep myself calm so as not to let on that I'm awake although from my appearance they might not know that but I think I've got a monitor on and that's what the beeping is. I hear footsteps getting closer towards me and someone muttering to themselves. I try to listen to anything that can help me pinpoint something.

The person stops beside me and I can feel the warmth from their body. They're still muttering under their breath but as I start to breath slowly I start to take in the smell of baby powder. "Heart rate is good, stats are good, colour is good" Murray! It's Murray that's here with me and I want to reach out and grab him but my stupid body won't do anything I say. "Temperature feels normal now" he says placing a hand on my forehead and then strokes down the side of my face rubbing his thumb under my eyes. "So why haven't you come back to me Charlotte?" He says disheartened and I can just imagine his little face looking somber and I want to kiss it away. "I'm so sorry I let you down. I shouldn't have tried to fix it myself and should have called Doc straight away even though you seemed fine" he tells me and I hear a chair being pulled up beside me. He lifts the hand beside him and starts to rub circles on my hands making himself and me feel better. He cannot blame himself for this can he?

Another positive is I can feel his touch so whatever happened I don't think it's lasting, well, I hope not.

I feel Murray place his head on my hand and he kisses it melting my heart. "Come back to me Charlotte. Come back to us" he tells me and I feel him sit up never letting go on my hand.

"How is she?" I hear and realise it's Gus from the waft of Pancake scent that comes at me when he places a kiss to my head.

"Everything looks fine but she still hasn't woken up yet" Murray says with a sigh. "The scans all show normal brain function and no lasting damage to her organs so at least we know she does not have any brain damage" he says matter of fact and I'm glad I'm able to hear this as it makes me feel slightly better knowing there is not major damage that's happened to me. Now I just need to piece the rest of what's happened together.