The Nothing Girl

Chapter 1

Life was, for the lack of a better word, ordinary. Nothing exciting every happened, not really. The few things that did happen were the things she lived for and they were the things that made her get up in the morning. On this particular morning, despite it being Saturday—she should be ecstatic of having two days off; two days belonging to her to do with as she pleased—but she didn't have any desire to get up.

She woke up a bit earlier with a scorching headache, the kind that makes every part of your head ache but you can't locate its place of origin. She forced herself to get up to use the to take something for the headache, use the bathroom while she was there and the minute she was done she gone back to bed. Where she still and hour later lay staring up at the ceiling.

The blinds on her windows were still down expect the blind that was meant to cover her balcony door was to short. It didn't cover it all the way down to the bottom. It had been the case since she put it in four years ago. Four years and she still couldn't be arsed to do anything about it.

Now she could kick herself for not having done it. Because now there was this huge fifty centimeter gap at the bottom letting not only daylight in but the warm rays of the sun, glittering like gold, the taunted her and tried to lure her to come be with the living.

With a grunt of frustration, she rolled to her side silently and demonstratively, giving the balcony door and the teasing sun her back, silently flipping them both off by putting a pillow over her head.

It was the bloody coffee man's fault, for messing with her, the previous day. She knew it was unfair of her to say that he messed with her, it was an honest mistake, with the morning rush at a coffee shop, to into other people. How could he have known a woman with a loose stack of papers in her hand would pop up out of nowhere, scare him half to death, first with her jack in the box appearance and her horrid looks.

Really the more she thought about it, the more she realized the blame was hers. If she looked where she was going, if she been more careful or simply not been there, it would never have happened.

She went to the café before work to finish some reports and plans, all for upcoming meetings. It was 2017 and they were supposed to live in this paper-free society, paper free her lily-white butt, no there was more paper being printed now than ever before.

So, there she was, trying to hurry because the vanilla latte she ordered had become two and with the second cup came with a cinnamon bun which she really didn't need. She hadn't needed any of it, what she needed was to stop eating herself to death and get her lazy ass to the gym. She snorted to herself, the sound muffled by the pillow over her head, that least not with other people around.

By pure accident, she'd glanced at the clock and noticed that she had twenty minutes to get back to the office and prepare for the meeting she had to attend. Rushing to get her papers in order, she grabbed her things and shoved them in her pockets. She hated purses—loathed them worse than death— and spun around on her heel to get out of there, scaring the strange man half to death and he sent her papers flying with his waving arms.

She hadn't really looked at him when he first saw her, simply aware of him jerking, which said everything he needed to say. Yes, she was hideous, fat, and gray as a damn mouse, but did people have to be so damn rude about it? It wasn't like he was going to have to sit with her or anything. Then it had happened, the one thing that was worse than being looked at with that disgusting frown most people got; the 'oh, what a fascinating experiment we have here' look.

Now her entire day would be ruined, she worried about what this stranger was thinking of her. If she was lucky he had forgotten all about her the second she walked out the door. The oxymoron of that idea was, she didn't know what was worse, being forgotten in a flash or made into a laughing stock, and remembered.

Her stomach rumbled, she ignored it, she didn't need to eat. There was enough fat on her to last her a lifetime, or at least a good year just lying in that bed, not doing nothing and not eating. It rumbled again, louder this time as if to shout over her own thoughts.

"Oh, just shut it!" she glared down at her stomach willing it to shut the hell up so she could hear herself think, to keep her mind focused on the pity party in her head. It was frustrating to not know what was happening without her knowledge and to have this stranger... man stuck in her head and knowing he seen her. Not observed her as she walked by but seen her. She knew he had, it had shown in his face and his eyes had burned a hole in her back as she walked away.

Glancing at her clock, it was way passed eleven, she hadn't eaten since last night, sure it been pretty late but still between eight and now there had been nothing. Still, she shouldn't eat, the only way to get rid of the car tires covering her body was to stop eating.

She wasn't after to look like a model, she knew she would never look like one, even if she lost fifty kilos or a hundred kilos she was ugly as sin mirrors broke and children cried when they saw her. She was after not looking disgusting and being able to walk up the stairs without sounding like a herd of elephants walking up and sounding like a bad porno when she reached the top. Hell, being able to look herself in the mirror and not be brokenhearted every time would be nice.

It became obvious her stomach wasn't going to shut up as it kept growling and rumbling and despite her best efforts to ignore it the now gnawing hunger was impossible to overlook.

Throwing off her cover she rolled to the side struggling to sit up. It was like asking a rhino to stand on two legs only task it to bend down and touch its toes. The tire around her waist, she had no waist was the size of one of those gigantic monster trucks.

"God, you're disgusting." She muttered out loud as she pushed out of bed.

With the morning pep talk out of the way she ventures out to the kitchen to find something to stuff in her face and to help secure her monstrous figure.

She lived in an apartment in the city suburbs of Gothenburg, in Långedrag, the nicer and richer part of town. She was lucky that way that she had good people in her life, a family that cared, her mother especially. She rented the top part of a two-story century old house that belonged to a friend of her mother's for almost no money. If it been up to her mother's friends she wouldn't pay anything but she wouldn't have it. She was a grown woman and had an ok salary she would not smooch of others. The bottom part was private owned business, a realtor firm. It was like living in your own piece of heaven hideaway, it was the one place she could relax and not worry about outside worldly things. Normally.

Because the business below was that of a realtor and they mostly worked out on the field it was mostly just her. Gert, who owned and worked the business, had put in a new fence for the garden too making sure that the plot behind the house facing towards the ocean and with the most sun was secured off for just her. He and his wife Siv were truly amazing and did more for her than they had too, the best part being they did it because that was the kind of people they were not because they pitied her. Knowing that for sure made a world of difference.

Passing the windows in the large airy and bright living room she couldn't help but stop by the large double doors leading out to her patio, currently partly decorated with a sunroof, a nice and comfortable set of outside furniture and a whirling stair leading down to the garden. Between the apple trees, you could see the blue ocean glittering like an aquamarine.

Distracted by the warmth of the sun seeping through the thin curtains, she closed her eyes, allowing the warmth sink into her very core. Her skin goose fleshed where she stood, the tension from her morning struggle pushed down some, forced back into the box she had it hidden and well locked away.

Without opening her eyes, she reached out for the door handle to the double doors leading out, turning the key she listened to the lock click open and with a gentle push of her hand the doors fell open with a soft squeaking sound. The heat of the sun directly on the skin of her bare arms and legs, her oversized t-shirt that she slept in only reaching mid-thigh, she let out a deep sigh in contentment.

Maybe if she was lucky her day could be salvaged and she could spend her day in peace, without having any worries about the world beyond.