R I P M Y Z O E

C H A P T E R T E N

J A H S E H

I had the weirdest dream. It was like this child running around calling me Daddy, at first I thought I was a pedophile. But no, he looked like me when I was a child. We were running around the park and then he started playing with my hair. Then the dream just ended.

I woke up to the sound of hurling. I got up and ran to Rickie's bathroom and saw her leant over the toilet. She tried to shoo me away but I just we and sat next to her and rubbed her back.

"What the fuck are you doing here?", Rickie asked me as she got up and rinsed her mouth multiple times before she brushed her teeth.

"I was here last night," I said almost forgetting that she was drunk, "At Clarions party or something," I said shrugging.

"Clarissa," she corrected me.

"Type shit. We watched movies and talked about my tattoo," I explained and she shook my head.

"I don't remember talking about any tattoos or nothing X," she said and it felt weird. With her calling me that.

"It's Jahseh," I said and she snapped her head to me.

"What?", she said sassily. That almost got me worked up again, but I calmed down. I guess.

"I want you to call me Jahseh," I said and Rickie shrugged at me.

Rickie had this attitude that I couldn't explain. She looked like she could kill a nigga, but she wouldn't because she's just too nice for that. Rickie would know where your weak spots are and how to use them. She's so happy all of the time and so positive. I'm just this negative space that fell in love with her.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," I said sincerely watching her as she checked her neck for any bruises.

"I don't know why, but every time I'm around you I get this feeling that you're going to hurt me again. Then you wouldn't stop. You would just keep throwing me around kicking me, until I stop breathing. Sorry isn't going to fix that," she said to me and I looked down, "Please leave," she said and I nodded. I went back into her room and put on my clothes.

"I hope that feeling goes away soon," I said and she didn't respond and she threw me a box. It was small and it had a ring in it.

"Go find you a girl to give that to and stay away from me," she said and it got me so fucking mad again, but it was from sadness mostly. I don't think I could feel for someone as much as I feel for her.

One year later *sorry for the time skips they're important*

I look at the box Rickie gave me before we stopped communicating. She pushed Ski away too, knowing that it would just lead me back to her. I lost all connections to her and none of my feelings.

I tried fucking with some other girls, but that just lead me to going mad. I kept my aggression concealed for her, but no. Some bitch had to go and get her brother on me. I put that nigga in the hospital. That put this nigga in jail. I'll be in for a year at most, you know my previous charges.

When I got to the front desk of the jail after trial they took away all of my belongings, even the box. I reached out for it, but they pulled me back.

"Let me keep the ring," I said and they guy just shoved it in my pocket. I sighed in relief and smiled.

"Who's the woman?", he asked me and I smiled at the thought of her.

"Her name's Rickie," I said and he looked at me as if I was crazy, "Her mom wanted a boy," I said and he nodded in understanding.

A couple days in I began to go crazy almost. My bail was hella much and Ski don't have that much money. I haven't seen a gay one yet, so let's keep it that way.

"Hey, Loverboy," the guard from a couple of days ago called out to me. I looked over at him and he opened the cell door.

"You got a visitor," he said and I got up and he put the handcuffs on me and guided me to the room.

"Rickie?", I said as I sat down in the chair. She picked up the phone and I did too.

"You got yourself in jail again. Amazing," she said laughing a little. She had on a big black t-shirt and some overalls with a black rose cap on. Her hair was shorter and she was curvier.

"You look beautiful," I said and she blushed and smiled at me.

"Damn near a year," Rickie said looking at me in my eyes. I smiled back at her, "It's be a horrible year."

"Why?", I asked and she shrugged.

"All my other patients were boring. Not counting the fact that I missed you. Deja moved down to Texas. My family moved to Tennessee and I've been trying to push you away, but I just can't. So I've been pretty lonely. My job is to check up on you when I can. Since you're in hear for beating someone's ass, I am now required to see you. Did he provoke you in anyway?", she asked me and I shook my head.

"I mean he did, but he didn't. I fucked the guys sister and he got pissed off. He swung at me, so I beat his ass," I explained shrugging.

"Jahseh, you probably is gone end up on a death penalty if you keep doing shit like this," she told me shaking her head. I smiled widely hearing her say my name.

"Stay with me," I said and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"What?", she asked and laughed.

"I'll be out soon enough. So just stay with me," I said and she nodded. The guard came back through the door and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Time to go back loverboy," he said and I got up, "She's a pretty one," he said as he looked at her.

"Touch her and you're dead," I said serious as hell. He nodded and put me back into the cell.

Welp he's back in jail. 😕