Friendship Never Dies (formerly called Silver Lining)

Friendship Never Dies - Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Beep! Beep! An annoying noise penetrated the silence that engulfed me and a too bright light leaked through my eyelids. I didn’t dare move any part of my body. I could feel the numbed and dulled pain underneath the bandages and the stale sweat covering my face. I could feel light pressure on my left hand and I tried to break through the crust on my eye lids to see what it was.

The light hit my eyes first and it was so bright that I wondered if I was in heaven. Then something squeezed my hand and I strained my neck to the left, although it felt like twenty tiny needles were being pressed against my neck, to see who it was. As I turned towards her, a smile played around my mum's lips. She looked terrible. Tired and worn; her hair looked as if it hadn’t met a brush in about three weeks, her eyes had huge purple bags underneath them and she was pale and thin. “Mum?” I whispered weakly. She ran her hand through her tangled hair and looked at me with wary eyes, as if waiting for something bad.

“Yes?” her voice came out cracked and hoarse as well. It looked like she was trying to think of an acceptable question. Finally she came up with one. “Can you remember anything?” she asked, even though that wasn’t what was on her mind. I shook my head and looked away.

That was a lie. I remembered everything so clearly, it was like I was still there. I remembered diving through the air, my heart in my throat and feeling like I’d been punched hard in the stomach and my eyes streaming. I remembered the harsh surface of the water as I hit with a force that rattled my bones. I remembered plunging into the icy, thrashing waves and sinking underneath the tide, the salt water stinging my eyes. I could recall the dirty grey colour of the hurling water, filling my lungs, my mouth and my mind and the seaweed clinging to my arms and legs. I remembered being enfolded in the waves, my whole body numbing and I remembered thinking that if this was death, it was oddly comfortable. I remembered the piercing light on a little fishing boat, streaming through the darkness and the three men hauling me out of the water and to the shore. I remembered the whining siren of the ambulance and the paramedics poking and prodding me, looking for injuries and I remembered the hectic phone call to my mum. And I remembered everything turning black.

I shook my head free of the memory and took a deep breath and shuddered when the bruises on my ribs throbbed horribly. I looked back at her again. It was harder than it should have been to get those two words out through my lips.

“I’m sorry” my whisper was barely audible, but my mum heard it. She just nodded, her lips thin and tight, but I got the feeling that I was almost forgiven. I could see she still had something on her mind, trying to burst out. “Just spit it out, mum.” I whimpered meekly, bracing myself for a guilt trip. She gave me a stern look then the bubble burst;

“Why?” she snapped suddenly. “Just why would you do that to me, Rachel?” her emotion burned angrily in her eyes and smouldered in her voice. I broke her gaze and looked down in shame.

 I did it because I thought that I’m nothing without my best friend, nobody needed me, I answered in my mind. But I’d been wrong. The ‘fall’ had been the wake up call I’d needed. I was something. People did need me – my family, friends (potentially), teachers and all those who I would help. But I couldn’t speak. The tears pricked in the back of my eyes, and spilled out on to the white sheets. “Oh, Rache. I’m sorry!” she cried winding her arm around me, horrified at my tears. I shook my head, and through my broken sobs I spluttered;

“No. You should – be (cough) ang- (sniff) angry!” and I started to sob into her shoulder. She held me close and rubbed soothing circles on my back. I snivelled into her soft jumper, feeling comforted and extremely sorry. It hurt to bend over to hug her, but I ignored the pain and put it to the back of my mind.  

We talked until I was exhausted and when the nurse came in with more pain killers, I had sorted almost everything out. I would take a month off school, comfort Nicole’s parents, mourn for Nicole, sort myself out emotionally and catch up on my school work at home. When I got back to school I would work harder than I’d ever worked before and get my grades back. I’d befriend Casey Mullet, since she was the only one who’d actually tried to be nice to me and I’d give a speech in assembly about Nicole. I’d try to fit in. With all that in order, my mind was at peace with itself and when the medicine spread I lay back, with a smile on my face and relaxed, so I could heal.

But the most important thing that I resolved to do that day…

Nicole would never, ever be forgotten.

Ever.