Darkest Secret(boyxboy)

1. Beginning

Chapter One: Raven

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  I had the best life. Everything I could want. A loving family, a dog, a beautiful house to live in. But, it wasn't that perfect. My family, well, they weren't my real family. I had been adopted by them when I was two years old. I had been one of those 'dropped on a door-step and left there' kinda child. I grew up with Diana and Mark, my adoptive parents and there daughter Kylie, who was three years older than me. I was so happy. But once I was ten years old, people started bullying me, calling my spoiled and a rich brat. I hated it. It went on and on.

When I was thirteen I went into depression. I hated my life by then. I excluded myself from family outings and family reunions, from everything. When I went to school, I sat alone in class, ate lunch hidden in the library, I'd walk alone and made sure never to make eye contact. But I was still popular. But not in the 'having hunreds of friends' way. People only knew me because I was the smartest boy in Kingston. I had perfect grades and was garenteed a scholarship when I was eighteen. Another reason why many people hated me. By the time I was fifteen I grew my hair longer, put bleached streaks in the front and started wearing dark colours. My mother cried when I became this way. The only people who stayed close to me were my sister and my best friend JJ Castingson. He stayed with me all these years, accepting being ignored for being my friend. My sister was also with me all this time to. But she wasn't mocked by these kids because she went to an all girls boarding school in Vancover. 

I once tried killing myself when I was fifteen. Didn't go well at all. That night I had taken in a full bottle of pain killers. But my sister found me and called our parents and I was taken to the hospital and had my stomach pumped. When JJ came to visit me in the hospital when I was admitted into this place where kids with 'issues' go, he actually cried for me. He was shocked and saddened at the way I wanted to end my life. He looked me in the eyes and told me if I ever DID kill myself, that he would to. He said it with the most serious tone and eyes that it made me cry. From that moment on, I was inlove with my best friend.

And now, I am sixteen, and my life has improved. I don't get bullied now, and I have many friends. JJ and are as close as ever since the incident, no one else knows. They don't need to know. I become more popular for good reasons. I still had my dark look because it had grown on me. As it had always been JJ's look. Longer hair, and dark cloths. I liked my life again, if it hadn't been for JJ I know I would've attemped suicide again. I never wanted to loose JJ, and thats why I could never tell him how I truley feel.

It was the middle of April, and everyone was already talking about buzzing about the home-coming game and prom. We were now in eleventh grade and we were also talking about prom and home coming. Tickets for prom were being sold and people were asking people. The sales were slow because msot don't buy there ticket until the middle of May and June. I was fretting that someone would ask JJ to the prom, I really was trying to get myself to tell him but I just couldnt! What if I did tell him and he laughed? Or didn't feel the same way and our friendship was ruined!? I couldn't live with JJ hating me!! No one, and I mean NO ONE knows how i truely feel about him.

" Hey Raven, do you wanna study for the science test tonight?" JJ asked after school.

" Sure, what time?" I asked

"Hmmm, how 'bout around seven?"

I nodded " Sounds good."

He smiled and we left the school.

We always walk home together. He lives just block away. We've done this since elementry school. Never once have we not walked home together. He even came to the school one day when he was sick, just to walk me home. There were so many things I just loved about him. His cool blue eyes, golden hair, his wonderful personality, and the fact he never judges someone to quickly, always gives them a chance.

" Raven? Did you hear me?" He asks looking at me.

I quickly whip my head to face him. Oh no, I zoned out again!

" Uh... Um... N-no.. Sorry.." I confessed

He laughs " It's fine. I was just asking if you were thinking of asking someone to prom this year."

' Yeah, i'd love to ask you to prom.' Pfft, as if I could really say that.

" No... I haven't thought about it..." I decided to say

He just nodded.

" H-have you thought about asking anyone?" I stammer

Oh my god! Did I really just say that!

He smiles to himself. " Yeah... there is someone..."

My eyes widen. " R-really? Who is it...?"

" Just someone I have really liked for a long time."

I my stomach starts flipping and I quiver a little bit.

" Oh, what's her name? Do you think it'll work out?"

He sighs and his expression saddens. " No. I don't think it'll work out... They don't know and I don't think I could ever tell them..."

A picture i took when we were fourteen and he still had black hair. Now its blonde, his natural hair colour. This was my favorite picture of him with black hair. I pin the photo back up and flops on my bed. Should I ask someone to the prom? JJ already has someone he might ask, so should I just ask one of my 'fan girls'? Yes, I have fan girls, It's not as great as you may think. They can be very annoying. But there is one girl, Chantelle, she's a year younger than I am but she's pretty cool and isn't all prep like the other girls. Maybe i'll talk to JJ about it tonight when I see him.

I don't reply. I just let the subject drop. What could I say? Nothing. I didn't have any words. When we get to my house he waves goodbye and keeps on walking. I kick off my shoes and go up to my room. Mom and dad weren't home yet. They wouldn't be for hours. I look at my wall. It has pictures all over it. Field trips, family outings and trips, the beach with my friends, pictures of JJ and I since we were little and up. I pulled a certain picture of him of the wall.