The Heartbreaker's Home

Chapter 5

"What do you have against him? He looks nice. We should call him Chuckles. Look, he looks like he's constantly chuckling!" I turned and grinned, holding the purple thing up at Declan, who immediately made a face. We made our way away from the tent where people were fishing ducks, weaving our way through the crowds till we finally found ourselves on the edge of the funfair. Helping him into the passenger seat of my car, I threw Chuckles into the backseat, and got in the driver's seat myself, starting the engine to make the drive back to our town.

Expecting it to be silent, considering our close encounter earlier, his voice caught me by surprise. "Kels, I... I'm sorry."

I frowned, chancing a brief look at him before turning back to focus on the road. "What for?" I asked, feigning ignorance and smiling in case he wasn't referring to whatever I assumed it was. "Mr. Chuckle's doesn't look that bad, really."

He laughed, but it sounded hollow. "No, I... I was an ass when I broke up with you."

Silence. What was I supposed to respond to that? 'Yes you were, thanks for breaking my heart?' Hell no. What the hell was he trying to do now anyway?

"I...  I never could forget you, Kels. I was horrified when Professor Hastings announced to me that a very familiar Miss Kelsey Harrington was to be my tutor. I tried avoiding you, but it just didn't work. After we broke up, I tried to get as many girls as possible to get you out of my system... nothing worked, Kels, nothing."

That explained the Charlotte, Mikayla and Cammie that came after me, all in quick succession of one another until we finally finished that horrific last few months of our senior year. Prom was a disaster, one which I never went for because I simply didn't trust myself to see someone on his arm. I had stayed in the diner that night, helping Seeley and Dad. While my peers went home, some drunk some not, I went home smelling of burgers and cakes. We neared his place as he spoke, and as I drew to a stop, he continued. "I couldn't stop wanting you. They were nothing like your laugh, your genuine love for life, you-"

"Stop." I internally winced at how my voice cracked when I spoke, but my heart could no longer take it. I had pushed those memories to the back, the furthest corners of my mind, and he just had to dredge it up again. "Why is it always about you, Reed?" I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, yet something told me he was looking at me. Not that it mattered. Not even looking at him, my voice was shaking. So I kept my gaze focused solely on the way my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel, as I spoke.

"It's always about you. Your game. Your life. Your wants. I... I can't do this. My life can't revolve around you and your wants. But..." I laughed, a hollow sound that sounded foreign, even to my ears. My brunette hair fell as I leaned back in my seat. "The funny thing is my brain wouldn't let me. You forget so easily, but... I don't. Even after you left, I still couldn't. He tried to bring me out, but I... I couldn't do it, Lan. Because of you."

"Who was he?" He immediately asked. I had to stop myself from laughing. What right did he have to sound so jealously protective?

"None of your business. Because we're done." I spat, turning to glare at him. Ignoring the way his brown eyes blazed with a possessiveness that had once struck joy in me, I turned to the back and grabbed the plushie, shoving it into his chest. "Get lost. You passed your quiz. I'll tell Professor Hastings you'll be fine."

"Kay-"

"You lost that right to call me that the day you said we were done, Declan. Leave. Now." My tone broached no argument, and when I turned away, it was a reinforcement of the fact that I didn't want to speak nor see him. Because I had promised myself I was well and thoroughly done with Declan Reed.