“I saw Jamia at the store, and Cherry was with her and she was shouting at me, but I thought I was just making it up in my head, so I ignored her,” my voice cracks and I cough, trying to hold back my emotions, “I’m such an awful dad Lindsey, no wonder she has a new boyfriend. He’ll treat them better than I did. Or do.”
“Frank, you’re not a bad day you’re just going through some shit right now-”
“No linds, I really am. I fucking ignored Cherry and it broke her heart.” Lindsey looks at me with sympathy and holds her arms open and I hug her for a second, forgetting everything else. I forget how empty I feel. I sit up after a few seconds and Lindsey holds my bare shoulders, “Now here’s what you’re gonna do; You’re gonna stop moping and you’re gonna get a new band and then you’re gonna come out and support Mindless okay?”
I laugh and nod and she leans forward and kisses my cheek a little close to my lips, but I saw it as nothing more than a friendly gesture. I didn’t have a problem with it, but when I heard a voice yell “What the fuck?” I knew exactly who did have a problem with it.
I pull away from Lindsey, suddenly feeling guilty and in the doorway Gerard is stood looking seriously angry. He pulls of his jacket and throws it at me, “Why the fuck are you half naked around my wife?”
"It's actually quite funny," Lindsey laughs not understanding why Gerard is upset. “If you would just let us explain-” Lindsey tries to explain but he cuts her off.
“I was talking to Frank.”
“I was just-” Gerard doesn’t even let me finish before he grabs my shoulder and pushes me towards the front door.
“No you know what Frank? Save it for someone who gives a fuck,” Gerard shouts and then opens the door before pushing me outside.
“Listen asshole, If you think about what I told you this morning, you’d know that I have no interest in your wife,” I scream, but apparently that makes him even angrier and he slams the door in my face. Luckily the rain has stopped, but it’s still freezing so I pull on Gerard’s jacket and stand at the door, listening to what is happening. Gerard can be really irrational sometimes, and I’m a little scared about what’s gonna happen.
"Lindsey, please tell me what the fuck I just saw," Gerard screams and I wince.
"What you saw Gerard, was your wife comforting a man who just lost his family! He's heartbroken and I was helping him feel maybe a little bit better about himself!"
Gerard didn't answer my calls or texts for 4 days. I spent 4 days trying to contact him, and try to explain everything, or maybe make him see that he was the only person I was interested in. He didn't pick up, though he didn't tell me to leave him alone either. On the fourth day of being ignored my phone rings and I pick it up immediately, hoping it's Gerard. Maybe he'd hear me out now that he's had time to calm down.
"Gerard? Oh my god, can you come over so we can talk, listen I'm really-"
"Frank, honey? It's mom," My mom laughs and I sigh, "I just wanted to call to see how my grandbabies are doing."
I inhale quickly and realise that there is nothing good I can tell her. I can tell her that they're doing better without me, I can tell her how I made Cherry hate me, and I can tell her how they have a new Dad. But instead I clench my fist around the phone and throw it against the wall, satisfied with the loud bang it makes. It falls to the floor and the battery falls out of the back, it's probably not broken but nobody can call me right now and that's fine by me.
I stare at the piece of plastic for a few seconds until I feel a sudden wave of anger inside me. My best friend ignoring me isn't what I need right now. I was hoping it was him calling but that last little bit of hope is gone now. I fall on the sofa and run my hands through my hair, pulling it out as I let out a scream that was building up inside me along with the anger. I hate everyone. Feelings are useless. I expect too much of life and it leads to big disappointments. My thoughts get interrupted by the sound of knocking on the door. I'm not in a mood for visitors so I stay quiet and hope for them to go away. I stare at the door with anger - they won't stop knocking. I get up and turn to walk towards the stairs to my room when I hear his voice.
Chapter 8
Start from the beginning
