I’ve been replaced.
I hit my head on the wall together with my clenched fist. I turn on my heel and continue running. The rain mixes with my tears, my vision is a little blurred and I struggle to see anything. I finally get to Gerard’s house; The familiar view makes me feel warmer on the inside although my body is shaking. I knock at first, but then begin to hit the door repeatedly with my fist.
“Please let me in, please be home, please I have nowhere to go, please,” I say in between breaths.
“Alright, alright! I’m coming!” I can hear a voice coming from the inside, and the clanging of keys. My face lights up as I watch the doorknob being twisted. The door opens and I see Lynz in the doorway.
“Frank!” She exclaims as she sees me but her face changes quickly “Oh my God, you’re shivering! Come in,” She says, grabs my arm and pulls me inside. She lets go of my arm in the hallway and runs to the kitchen. “Gerard isn’t home yet, so I’ll make some coffee as we wait for him,” She shouts from the kitchen in a kind tone of voice. When she comes back with my coffee, I have a chance to take in her outfit. She’s dressed in a pair of boxers that are obviously Gerard’s and a tank top. She sees me looking and laughs, “I know I’m dressed strangely but you caught me just getting out of the shower.” And as if to prove it, she points to her hair which is wet. She knows I wasn't checking her out, which is awesome, because I'm so not interested.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I shrug, not really feeling sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt her shower, I didn’t even think she’d be here. Her band are going on tour next week so I thought she’d be practicing. “How’s the band?”
“Well we’re all spending the last few days with our families, because I won’t get to see Gerard or B until the LA show which ends the tour,” She sighs, and forces a smile. The atmosphere is warm, and comforting, reminding of how a home should feel. I’m still really cold and I try to smile at her but my teeth knock together and I shiver, causing Lindsey to frown.
“We need to get you changed sweetie! Take those clothes off and I’ll bring you some of Gerard’s stuff down, I’m sure they won’t be too long on you,” She winks and walks up the stairs and leaves me too take off all my clothes. I open my mouth to protest but she holds up her hand to stop me, “Don’t even think about it, you know how easily you get sick.” So I take off my clothes, obviously I leave my boxers on, as she’s still my best friend’s wife, but all my other clothes are soaking and I throw them into a pile on the floor.
This house is so unlike mine, it’s full of happiness and doesn’t feel empty. I miss my kids. I miss them so much I didn't think it could get any worse. They’re my best friends. I don’t know how I’m going to make it without seeing them. I slump down onto the couch and put my head in my hands, and wait for Lindsey to come back.
“Frank? Are you okay?” Lindsey asks and I jump, not expecting her to be there so fast. “Are you crying?” I wipe the back of my hand across my nose and nod, feeling beyond pathetic. I raise my head and Lynz drops what looks like sweat pants onto the couch.
“Here sweetie put these on,” she says and I raise my eyebrow to ask where the shirt is, “You know what Gerard is like, he owns one clean t-shirt and the rest are hidden somewhere in the bedroom so I can never find them and wash them. I swear that man loves to live in his own filth.”
I laugh weakly and pull on the sweat pants. They’re a little long, but that’s okay. Lindsey hasn’t changed clothes, but I guess that’s just because she’s comfortable in what she’s wearing. She sat close beside me on the couch and our legs brush, but it’s in a comforting way. “Now let’s talk, what’s bothering you?”
Chapter 8
Start from the beginning
