carsen ✓ [rewriting]

prologue

" and i've been feeling so small "
-a great big world

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

"BEFORE."
April 12, 2018.

Partying always did something to Carsen. It made her feel included, like she was part of something bigger than herself. She finally felt like she belonged, among the sea of her classmates dancing up on one another.

It sounds ridiculous, but that was some of the only attention Carsen got. Negative attention was better than no attention in her eyes. If she could get noticed by others for taking the most shots out of everyone in the group, she would. Even if she woke up with a killer hangover and a lecture from her parents. Not that they cared anyways.

So, Carsen couldn't help but smile as she slammed her ninth shot down onto the table. Cheers sprung up all around her as she cringed and grabbed her last one before throwing it back and crying out in victory. Her opponent, whose name was Elijah, gave her a smirk. Carsen had known Elijah since the third grade, when he moved to Page, Arizona. They had immediately clicked and been close ever since.

"Another win, huh?" he asked as he came closer to her. His voice held a slight slur, and he spoke with a raised eyebrow. Elijah watched as her eyes scrunched up and the laugh she let out.

"I can't help it; you boys are way too easy," she replied with a new wave of confidence as she flicked a piece of her blonde hair over her shoulder. Elijah let out a bark of laughter as he slung an arm over her shoulder.

"Let's grab a drink, shall we?" he asked, and she gave him a nod of confirmation. He guided her to the bar through the crowds of sweaty teenagers, while his hand traveled down to the small of her back. Carsen's bright grey eyes watched as her classmates danced and drank, smiling and laughing. She looked down at her light, denim shorts and grinned, realizing how much fun she was having.

Slowly, they maneuvered their way to the bar, which was really Sophia Multcher's kitchen counter. Elijah dropped Carsen's hand and went over to the cooler while she crouched down to adjust the straps to her stilettos. I will kindly chuck these into the nearest garbage after tonight, Carsen thought to herself as she loosened the strap closest to her ankle.

Mid-adjustment, she felt a cold liquid on her forearm and bolted upright in surprise. She quickly shook it off her arm and glanced to her right.

There, she saw Elijah smirking guiltily. He was holding two plastic cups containing some type of alcohol. Both were filled to the brim and foaming at the top. "Oops?" he said, but it came out as more of a question. Carsen just laughed, shaking her head, and took the cup from his outstretched hand.

The liquid inside was dark and bubbly, so Carsen assumed it was probably mixed with some sort of soda; maybe Coke. It reminded her of the chemistry lab she had done with Elijah the previous year. Carsen was secretly hoping she had a class or two with him this coming year, seeing as it would be their senior year, and probably the last time they'd see each other.

Raising the glass, she took a sip and, surprisingly, enjoyed the taste. "What is this?" she asked, taking another sip.

"Vodka and Pepsi," he replied casually as he took a long gulp. She noticed how his dark hair fell across his forehead and the way the dim lighting illuminated his pale blue eyes. She looked down for a short second, before meeting Elijah's eyes again. Elijah raised an eyebrow at her. "What? You like it?"