Take the shot

Chapter ten

"What do you mean Gloria's missing?" I asked, panic rising in me, "she had a police escort home yesterday."

"The precinct received a call from her this morning saying that your attacker tried to contact her, and when we went to pick her up she was gone, and the only trace left of her was her notebook with another note," Sonny explained, "and now their keeping you under surveillance at the precinct."

"How can this be happening?" I asked, my face going a bit numb from all the shock.

"We don't know," my mom said. "We're dropping you off at the precinct now and then we are adding the charge of kidnapping to your attackers charge. Since he's our only lead, that's all we can do," she explained to me.

"Are you under Gloria's investigation, or are you not allowed?" I asked, feeling a pang of jealously at what her answer could be.

"Olivia says I am allowed. It's not having any direct connection to you, and they need as much officers in the job as they can," she said, not even looking at me.

I felt a weird feeling from that. Like my mom was sort of...replacing me in a way. I didn't like thinking like that. I mean it wasn't even her choice...right?

"Jesse!" I heard her yell. "Did you even hear me?" She asked, anger starting to fill her once calm voice.

"Yes, I'm sorry," I said, and faced out the window.

I wanted to tell Sonny how I was feeling, but I remembered that I was supposed to be mad at him.

He opened his mouth to say something to her, but shut it when she gave him the look she gives me when I'm being difficult.

"Just be quiet while we figure this out," she demanded, stress clear on her face.

"Okay," I said, barely audible.

She kept her eyes locked on the busy road in front of us while Sonny stood in the passengers seat an awkward mess. I felt bad for him and all of this unnecessary drama.

We arrived at the precinct without another word being said, and the tension rising by the minute.

I was honestly relived to leave that car, even though I wish I had left on a good note.

I was escorted inside by the two detectives, and left in one of the children's interrogation rooms for precautionary measures, while Sonny and mom went to get on Gloria's kidnapping case.

I was really left to do nothing but ponder with my own thoughts. All the detectives and officers I knew were on Gloria's case.

I have to say I felt really alone.

Not even because of Gloria, but because I was the first to be attacked, and no one was even talking to me right now.

It's not like I don't like Gloria, but I need support too.

I played around with a pen and paper for a while, writing down a few sad poems to express my feelings, them folded them up and put them in my front pocket.

I huffed out and looked at my watch, only to see that it's been ten minutes, and God knows how long this could take.

I had so many regrets.

The thing is, I haven't seen Noah since the accident, or even thank him for anything.

I lost all my friends at school, and I didn't want to loose him too.

I frowned and took my head in my hands and rubbed my eyes. I felt like it was just endless tiredness.

Just then, a knock from the door scared me out of my skin.

Without my approval to enter, the visitor opened up anyway. I recognized him.

"I'm Mr. Wong, NYPD therapist and motivational speaker," he said.

"So I've heard," I said, "what do you need?"

"Jesse, it's my job to help people who think that there no where to turn. I heard you tried some suicidal activity, and it's my job to show up and help you. Talk it through," he explained to me.

"I really do not want to talk about it. I just want to be left alone," I explained to him, refusing to make any form of eye contact.

Just someone's presence with me who knows about something I'm not proud of made me want to crawl in a hole. I prayed for him to respect my words and leave.

"Jesse I know it's hard to talk about, but it's my job to help you," he said.

"And I am refusing service. Leave me alone," I demanded, my head snapping at him for the first time since he entered.

He looked very sad. I didn't know why. He didn't even know me.

Instead of leaving, he slowly made his way over to the table and sat down, eyeing me at every move.

"You know, one time there was this young boy. He was a heroine addict. There was this treatment that could make him completely loose the addiction, but it wasn't legal here yet. Olivia told me not to do what I was going to do, but I did it anyway. I bought that young boy down to the place and he got the treatment, and completely lost the addiction. He was able to testify then and help us win a case. I thought I was going to loose my job for going against protocol, but I only got a suspension. It was worth it, to see that young man turn his life around. I did it for the patient. To be honest Jesse, I'd do anything for my patients, and if you'd let me, that could be you," he finished, smiling at the memory.

"Did that actually happen? Or is this just one of those stories NYPD is allowed to make up to bribe a person?" I asked.

He opened his mouth in shock at my words, but I beat him to it.

"My moms a cop here you know," I said, "I know what can go on in here."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, that did actually take place, and whether your mother is a cop or not, your still a victim of temptation here," he told me, moving closer.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want you to tell me what caused you to do that, so we can resolve the problem here," he said. "Its actually quite simple."

"It's a hard thing to talk about," I said, not knowing if I wanted to go through with this. I knew that there were people right outside the room listening to our conversation, and could see us right now. I wanted them to know that I knew that they were there, and I wasn't some stupid clueless child.

I aimed my eyes right at the see through glass, really hoping someone was at the spot I was looking at.

"Do you hit feel comfortable talking about it in a room like this?" He asked.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable either way, but it would make a small difference if we did leave and went somewhere private," I said, trying to sound as put together as I could. I had a feeling he could see right through me.

"Alright," he said, "follow me."

I did as he said as we exited the room.

We walked pass the window, and I looked to see if I had actually been staring at anyone.

I wanted to crawl in another hole and die when I saw Carisi standing there, obviously a mess.

I wanted to tell him how sorry I was, but I just kept walking by.

I felt my heart brake at the action.