Take the shot

Prolouge

"I'll be working late tonight, Jess. I'll call Sandy and she'll make you dinner and if you need anything or if something goes wrong, you have my number and Carisi's and Liv's, okay?" My mom rambled, as I wasn't even paying attention due to my groggy state of mind.

"Yeah, sure," I responded, half heartedly.

"I'm serious Jess. If you need anything," she said again, but with a more strict motherly tone. That was kind of a new thing now.

"Yes Detective Rollins. Order received loud and clear," I said, standing up straighter and giving her the salute, looking pretty ridiculous and stupid.

"You're something else, you know," she said as she ruffled my already gross bed hair.

She then get back into her serious beginning of the day state of mind and stance.

"Sandy will be here soon to take you to school in a little bit. Don't keep her waiting. Love you!" She yelled as she grabbed her black jacket, purse, and gun belt.

"Love you too mom!" I yelled back to her.

She grinned at me once more before closing and locking the door behind her.

I was alone again.

This was the daily routine. In the morning she tells me to call whenever I need to and then she tells me how Sandy will make me dinner, and if she can't come, how she'll be home early and Sonny will come over and make us all dinner.

I loved when Sonny came over, which was getting to be a lot more now. I talked to him about my mom all the time and he would always ask me how school was and If I was happy and getting good grades. He also tended to ask me about boys more. Mom says it's because of the job, but I don't mind at all. It felt good to have someone want to protect me. He was more of a fatherly figure for me then any biological father could ever have been for me. I was really happy that him and my mom were partners, they got along really well and have been since I was born.

But sometimes I wonder if my mom really enjoys having me in her life. She's always working and I can never ask her or hint it to her. She leaves the house at 6 in the morning everyday and barely ever has a day off. I missed her, I really did. But I stayed strong for her at home. All I ever wanted was for her to be proud of me.

I wish that she could take me to school or make me dinner or talk with me more, but I guess that's what she hired Sandy for.

Sandy has been working for my mom and I for a long while now, and she was nice and all, but she wasn't my mother.

I had never really felt so strongly about any of these kind of things before, but since I'm 13 now, I kind of have a different perspective to all of it. Not a great one, but a different more mature one then before. It's been this way at home since I was born.

I guess I'm kind of used to it, and trust
me I'm really grateful for my mom and her job for more reasons.

My mothers Lieutenant, Olivia Benson, is a really amazing person to have in my life as well as Fin and Sonny.

Olivia comes over with Noah a lot, even though he's two years older than me. We go to school together and he's probably my best friend. He always looks out for me, and my mom only trusts him with me if I stay after school. We were all really close.

Fin has worked with my mom for a really long time now, and we are all really close too. Some times on the weekends I come into the precinct and help Sonny and Fin to organize paperwork and other small things, like getting any victims or officers things from the vending machine or some coffee. I have to admit I did enjoy that.