Take the shot

Chapter Seven

"Do you want to order in?" She asked me after our long drive home.

"No, I think I'll just go to bed, I'm kind of tired," I said, even though it was only 9.

"Okay.." she said, hesitantly, "want to talk about anything before you go to bed?" She asked me.

"No, see you tomorrow," I said, and walked into my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

Tomorrow was the day that Gloria had to try and convince our attacker to meet her the same day he supposed to meet me. I was really worried at first, but now I'm even more worried. The day after tomorrow was Saturday and it seemed so much closer than it really was.

The stress from this entire thing was pretty unbearable.

I hadn't even thought about going back to school yet, and now no one looks at me the same.

None of my friends have even really contacted me to see how I was doing. That kind of stung, but I'm pretty much a master of shutting things out.

I felt even worse for my mom, because knowing her she blamed herself, and I didn't want that from her. I didn't want any piety, I just wanted him to suffer like I am.

I wasn't deep enough into my thoughts yet for me to ignore the knock at my door.

I groaned and then got up, feeling very angry at myself and this entire thing. I just wanted to be alone.

"Jesse," I heard my mom day from behind the door.

I ignored it and went by the door frame to listen.

"Jesse, I know you're upset. I'm not letting you go to bed like that. I know you're not going to bed anyway," she said matter-of-factly.

"Just let me be for a little while. Can I have one moment to myself?" I forcefully asked through the door.

"Open the door Jess," she ordered, trying her best to keep herself together.

"You know, none of me friends have called since the incident. Only one, but she asked for math answers. I mean, what's the point? I thought my friends were loyal, but they weren't. I can't even trust my own self. It's not even about the assault anymore," I said, raising my voice at the last sentence.

She didn't say anything, she just panted for a couple of seconds.

Then I heard her walk away.

I let out a small whimper at the thought of my own mother walking away from me like that.

What was the point?

I heard her mumble a few things to someone on the phone a distance away, but couldn't make out the conversation.

I viciously walked to my window, and looked outside. A bird flew by, swooping down and then back up, like flying was easy. Nothing was easy.

I wish I could fly, right out of this mess. I hated every bit of it. I could imagine what Gloria was going through. I always wondered what everyone was going through but me. I didn't even care about what happened to me.

I opened the window, and thought of the bird. I just thought of the bird.

I found myself beginning to step up, my legs moving by themselves.

When I was getting ready to put my other leg up then push, the door came flying open.

I nearly stumbled out the window from the force of it, which led to my leg falling completely outside, making it hard to balance the other half of my body.

"Jesse!" I heard my mom scream.

My head snapped at her and I saw Sonny there too. Explains the door.

"Please just leave me alone," I said, sounding like the dumbest person in the world. Of course they weren't going to leave. Half of my body was outside a window three stories up.

"Jesse, listen to me. Get down from there right now," Sonny said cautiously, slightly moving towards me.

"Don't!" I said, sticking my hand up, causing me to shake a bit, "let me do it. Please," I sobbed. I was a mess. I hated it.

"Jesse, please. Don't do this. We are going to get through this. We will if you talk to me, and not let this all boil up inside of you," mom said, crying a mess.

"I-I just don't know what to do. Nothing has gotten better. I'm afraid to go back to school, yet alone use a public bathroom ever again. What am I supposed to do?" I questioned her, weeping.

"You're supposed to be strong like I know you are Jesse. I know you are. Don't let this be the reason why you leave me. Get down, please," she said.

She was right. I didn't want to die, I wanted to live. I wanted to show whoever this was that he was going down, and be there to look him in the eye at court and say what he did to me in front of them. I wang people to know what a monster her is.

Before I could even say anything else to her, someone came running at me, wrapping their arms around my torso and pulling me into the house again.

I hit the floor hard on my left arm, but I was relived.

I saw that Sonny was the one who saved me. I cried into his arm as he told me that it was okay over and over again.

What just happened? I asked myself. What was I thinking?

My mom came down on the floor with us as we cried together. I never felt more loved than I did right now. I wish it didn't take that for me to feel it, though.

"I'm sorry," I kept telling her.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're okay," she said back to me.

"Jesse your arm," Sonny said, pointing to the slightly dripping blood. That's why my arm hurt.

"I think you landed on something sharp," he said.

He grabbed onto my arm and basically carried me to the bathroom, he had such a grip on me.

"Don't ever do that again," he said, "if you need to talk to someone, I'm here  if you don't want to talk to your mom. That's never the answer," he said.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," I said.

He just hugged me and washed my arm.

"I think you fell of top of a pencil," he said.

I sighed out, my face still numb to the shock of the events that just occurred.

He put a few bandaids on then stood me up as he kneeled down in front of me.

"You mean the world to your mom, and your a pretty big part of mine. I don't know what we would've done without you," he said, his own eyes getting glossy.

"Me neither," I said, and hugged him again.

My mom came in and sat next to me.

"Oh Jess," was all she could manage to say, as Sonny put a hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be over soon," she said, "I promise."

"I know," I told her.

"I know"