Do i know you too well? (An Ellington Lee Ratliff fic) (complete)

Chapter 40

Lottie pov-

"So nice to be back home" I sighed falling on the bed

"Erm Lottie could you help?" Ell called from the hall.

"Oh yeah sorry" I replied jumping up to help. I grabbed a couple of suitcases and dragged them in, followed by more and more until finally all of the cases where in the lounge, including Ells.

"You staying?" I asked and he looked at me blankly

"Is that an invite or an order?" He asked yawning

"Invite" I yawned back

"Then yes"

*1 hour later*

" you know what I've been thinking" I said and Ell turned to look at me. "Maybe we should just get a place together or just move into one of our places?"

"That's cool" Ell said uncertain

"You don't sound so sure"

"Oh I'd love to live with you Lottie it's just I'm so jet lagged I can't put any thought into it. Can we chat in more detail about it when I'm not about to fall asleep? But yes I think we should"

"Sure" I smiled taking his hand and taking him to my room. "Now go to sleep. Il wake you up for dinner so you can eat something and won't wake up at 3am wide awake"

He got into bed and smiled "thanks"

I set up the spare bed for me to sleep if he wanted to go back in mine after dinner and sat on it an sighed.

I don't understand this. How have I managed to become friends with such amazing people, let alone be one of their girlfriends. Eliza and Eva as gorgeous and so was Clara, they are practically perfect: silky long hair that falls perfectly round their amazingly contoured faces. They are tall and thin with amazing figures and then you look at me. A shoulder length blondey-brown 5ft 4" mess with the figure of a butternut squash and a baby face. Literally nothing special at all.

I tried to put it to the back of my mind but couldn't.

"I'm good enough"I muttered under my breath "I have to be" a tear reached the brim of my eye "I'm not good enough. I never will be!" I let out a small screech as I started to cry trying to be as quite as I could.

"What's up?" Ell asked appearing at the door after a few minutes

"Please leave me alone" I manage to get out "I don't need to be reminded"

He came and sat next to me and brushed a bit of damp hair out my face and behind my ear

"Reminded?" He said softly "of what?"

"The fact I'm useless Ell! I'm never going to be good enough"

He looked at me confused and wiped my eye

"What do you mean?"

"Take a look at the other boys girlfriends then look at me. I don't fit in. I'm that puzzle piece you had as a child, that one that didn't have a space so you tried randomly cramming it into a space until it almost broke"

"Lottie where's this come from?" He put an arm round me

"I was thinking about how Ross and Eliza are going to get married and how perfect they are for each other" I wiped my eye again and looked up at Ell "I just think you deserve better"

"What do you mean?" He looked very worried now and I started to cry harder. I was about to say something I never wanted to say

"Ell... I... I don't think 'we' are working. I feel I'm holding you down. I'm not good enough for you"

"You're breaking up with me?" He looked at the ground

"We can still be best friends though right?"

I forced a smile as he nodded and got up

"Well I'm... Er.. Going to go back to bed now. See you at dinner"

He shut the door behind him and I got into bed and cried my eyes out. That was horrible but for the best I guess.