Forever Loyal To My Thug

Chapter Five.

I placed my bookmark on page 53 of "A Dope Boy Stole My Heart." By Heiress that I was currently reading. Since Nicole was still mad at me and my mother was at work I didn't really have that many options of things to do. I really would like to have more female friends but the way my trust issues was set up it would be impossible.

It was already almost impossible for me and Nicole to be friends but the bitch was consistent with us being cool. I looked at the little bit of bags I had already packed on the side of my bed. I was 12 days away from finally moving out my mother's house and hanging my Jimmy Choos up. I had put in a application at MAC cosmetics where my step brother, Tyler was the store manager. I loved doing makeup ever since I was able to apply lipgloss on my lips.

I used that to a advantage to slide right in knowing he'd give me the job on spot.
I met Tyler when I was around 16 when my mother and father was in court for child support and my dad would bring his husband and his son. Me and my father barely talked but it didn't effect me being that he wasn't even in my life anyways.

Tomorrow was officially my last day at XXX and I was making sure I left with a bang. My phone started ringing snapping me out my thoughts. Grabbing my phone not recognizing the number I declined it getting up to pack some more stuff away. Hearing my phone ring again I picked it up seeing the same number sighing I answered it.

"Hello who is this keep blowing my phone up and shit." I snapped hearing a gasp.

"Candice baby it's Ms.Janet Nasir's mother."

"Hey Ms.Janet I'm sorry I had thought you were someone else!"

Holding tight on my mom's hand I thought I was going to faint I couldn't stand on my two feet any longer and felt my knees getting weak. Looking at the closed casket they said his body was to messed up to be seen and Ms.Janet definitely was not cremating Nasir. I leaned down kissing the casket staying there for a minute it was getting ready to be put down in the ground.

"Come on baby." My mom said trying to pull me up but I had a good grip on the side of the casket not trying to let go.

"If he goes I go with him." I screamed in tears feeling a more muscular pair of arms grab me pulling me away softly. Noticing it was Nas's uncle he put me down placing me back next to Ms.Janet. Looking at her she showed no emotion I didn't know how to read her. Did she not care? She slowly walked over to the casket and placed his chain on the handle of the casket reminding me I had one of his other favorite chains on my neck.

"I really can't stay here any longer mom." I whispered to her as we kept our eyes on Janet.

"You sure you want to leave baby girl?" My mom asked rubbing my back. I nodded my head with no hesitation. I couldn't do it I couldn't sit here and act like a piece of me didn't leave with him. Watching the sight of him being lowered down into the ground would just kill me.We walked away hand in hand and made our way away from the burial sight. 
Pulling up to the house on Toms River Road I gripped the steering wheel looking at the neighborhood that was once filled with raggedy houses. A neighborhood I called home when I was younger.

"Okay you can do this Candice." I told myself cutting the ignition off getting out locking the doors. I put my hands in my sweatpants pockets walking up the stairs. I sighed knocking on the door patiently waiting. Swinging the door open I was greeted with Janet.

"Hi baby wow look at you." She smiled admiring me. I smiled to actually kinda happy to see her I haven't seen her face to face in years.

"Hey Ms.Janet you looking good yourself."

"Thank you come in come in." She said holding the door open wider, walking in I admired how amazing her décor looking way different from when we were younger. You can tell Nasir had something to do with helping her by the looks of how expensive the furniture looked. She walked straight to the kitchen the smell of lasagna hit my nose.

"You throwing down in here?" I chuckled walking in seeing Nasir putting the a tray in the oven.

"Yeah I had decided to cook you and Nasir's favorite meal for old times sake." I nodded my head slowly pulling the chair out taking a seat.

"Okay so what is it that you want me to know Nas?" I said getting straight to the point with him. I only called him Nas when I was mad or we wasn't on good terms. He turned around and smiled shyly leaning against the counter.

"You two want me to step out?" Ms.Janet said with her back faced to us cutting up the lettuce for the salad.

"Yeah ma I can handle this." He said leaning over kissed the top of her head. She washed her hands grabbing a paper towel to dry her hands.

"Okay make sure you watch this food." She said sternly walking out the kitchen.

"I want to tell you sorry and although that may not make things better between us I do sincerely apologize to Candice because I didn't mean to hurt you or break your heart the way I did but I had to do what was best for me." He explained looking me in the eyes the entire time.

"And what happened that made you fake your death?"

"Well you already know what I was doing back then for a hobby I had thought stealing a few more products than necessary that niggas wouldn't notice but once they find out I was the one making the products disappear they were set to kill me, it was my greediness that got me in that predicament that not even my mother could get me out of."

I sat there in silence trying to understand all this. I knew he was selling drugs at 16 and I had told him many times that if he ain't stop he'd get caught up and look.

"So where were you hiding at for 8 whole years?"

"I was down south with my grandfather, he was the perfect person to go to because no one but family knew he was even still alive."

"When did your mom found out?" I quizzed throwing as many questions as I could think of.

"A few years ago she reacted similar to how you did but she got over it, which is what I hope you would eventually do." He sighed. I rolled my eyes looking at the ceiling.

"Well she's your mother she has to forgive you I don't." I said standing up to leave.

"I'm sorry Candice I really am and whatever I need to do to have you back in my life I'm willing to do just don't walk away from me again." He said almost on the verge of tears.

I quickly blinked my eyes getting rid of the tears forming still with my back faced to him. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, it felt perfect but I wasn't going put my guard down easily just yet. Unwrapping his arms from around me.

"I forgive you." I replied before walking away from him.