Cold Blood

❥ Chapter Forty-six ❥

Written by DeadlyDisasters

Ash pov

After he finished torturing me, he untied my ropes and put fresh ones on. I sat limply, like a rag-doll. This time he tied them around my chest and arms. I'm still tied to the chair but this time they are a little looser, like he knew I was too deep in my own mind to notice what was happening.

That was hours ago. I hope he changed Everett's ropes too. All I can do is sit here, crying and bleeding all over myself. I drift back into my thoughts and stare at the wall but not actually seeing it. Why didn't my parents kill me when they had the chance every single day? Even though they are dead, I believe they still couldn't let me live in peace. They got someone else to do what they can't yet, this is far worse than what they did to me.

I'm nothing, I never was anything special. I may have been a killer after Everett killed them but I'm weak. I have no idea how he put up with me, how he was able to convince me that he loved me. I'm a fool, how can anyone actually love me, I'm not very smart, I never went to school, I'm too quiet and don't like social situations. When I'm around many other people I feel as though they can see right through me, that they know everything about me and agree with what my parents did.

Obviously Everett's dad agrees or I wouldn't be here, living but feeling as though I'm dying. I deserve every ounce of pain that I feel and more. I deserve to have cuts, bruises, black eyes, and missing teeth. How could I ever have felt that I deserved better? How could I let Everett convince me of that? He pitied me, that's why he took me in. That's why he held me that night and kept the nightmares away. That's why he pretended to love me, because I'm worthless and he knows it.

I don't hate him, I never could. If we get out if here, I'll leave him one way or another. I don't care how, I don't deserve living but he deserves an explanation so maybe I won't kill myself right away. I'll tell him that I didn't mean to burden him, that he should be with someone with so much more life in them.

I'm sure that it's my fault that my parents beat me, that it's my fault Everett's father is beating me too. I'm not sure what I did but I know it was my fault, I got us caught. Everett would probably still be a free man if he had killed me long ago, or if my parents had killed me. What did they see that made them let me live?

Did they see someone empty, without life in them? I'm a living corpse, my hair is always a mess, I'm skinny enough that people probably think I have an eating disorder, my skin is extremely pale, and my eyes don't have that shine of life like everyone else's. Mine are dull and without hope. I'm a waste of a human life.