We Are NOT Friends

WHY IS THERE A HIPPO IN THIS DEADLY ABYSS OF SOUNDS, BOMBS, AND BRIGHT LIGHTS?

Ow ow owww! Wait, WHAT! Shouldn't I be dead? How am I conscious? Or even THINKING? Wait, was it truck-san? In the (many) web novels that I have read, truck-san gives people a chance at reincarnation. Waaaiit a minute. So I am supposed to be waiting to be reincarnated?

I observed the space around me. White. Blindingly so, especially for the me who rarely went outside or experienced human interaction apart from 2D characters on a screen. Ugh, I might wither and die like a vampire at this rate I thought to myself.

"No, young girl, nonsense, that is not possible. In all of my extensive knowledge of the races I do not recall the human species having any similarities of vampires. They are just not alike. For example, humans have horrible taste buds, so they find garlic tasty while vampires, who have an... elevated sense of taste die." A voice boomed out from no where. 

That was a joke... and now that I think about it... Dang, that dude can't get any more narcissistic.

"Hahaha" the man laughed. Oops. "Human beings are quite interesting playthings, even after descending into godhood I am still unable to understand how they work." Wow, I'm impressed. He had managed to look down on the human race and show off about his status all at the same time.

Wait- WHAT! God! Omygosh, omygosh, I'm gonna be fried and eaten like a chicken kebab. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, the dream was nice while it lasted. Wait, I'm already dead. So can he kill me again? What if he can? WAAAAHHH! I tried to pull myself together. No, stop that, right now I should be thinking just where is that arrogant asshole coming from?

Oops, I think I just thought too loud. My bad. I hear booming laughter coming from somewhere that seemed like everywhere to me. The voice was back again,

"You, young girl, are in luck, for you have been chosen to be Reincarnated! Yaayy!" All of a sudden a rainbow of letters burst into existence spelled REINCARNATION and almost blinded me with their color. Confetti exploded and almost burst my eardrums with their volume. All of a sudden,

"AHHHH! There are bombs going off somewhere! WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed praying to come out of this in one piece. I could tell that the so called "god" was still talking to me but I could not process anything because of my sensory overload.

I ran around screaming my lungs out like a crazy person, which I was in grave danger of becoming, and ran into something bouncy. I bounced backwards and realized what I had run into. 

Holy mother of shit WHY THE HELL WAS THERE A HIPPO IN THIS DEADLY ABYSS OF SOUNDS, BOMBS, AND BRIGHT LIGHTS? The hippo stared at me for a moment before opening its jaw which seemed to just get larger and larger until it became large enough for a human to fit in. Half insane by the noise, I jumped into the dark abyss of it's mouth not even having the time to process the all important fact that I HAD JUST JUMPED INTO A HIPPO'S MOUTH!