Scars never Heal

Chapter 1: Welcome to my Life

I will always regret the day that I made that first cut, ruining my life. Ruining my family. Ruining my future. Ruining me.
The blade slowly slid across my wrist, giving me relief. That day I felt abandoned, ugly, hurt, like I'd didn't matter, useless, invisible, like I didn't belong in this world.
I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares, but they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here.
The scars start to fade and the urge to bring them back becomes stronger and stronger until I can't take it anymore. I want to stop. I want to be happy again. I want to be normal.
I think I am going to kill myself. Maybe not today, or next week, or even next year, but I can feel it. I will end my life, on my own terms.
Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place, like somehow you just don't belong and no one understands you? Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room, with the radio turned up so loud that no one hears you screaming?
       My name is Alexander Bailey. Welcome to my life.