Goody Two Shoes #Wattys2017

She Needs Me

"Can we talk?" Sophia asked as she continued to sit on the very edge of the bed. After a busy eventful day, I just came back from work while she took the day off. She spent it with Bless, I think. The moment I entered, I found her sitting in that same position looking stressed, serious and in deep thoughts. Her eyes rapidly looked my way and met my eyes. I am growing to find such a comfort in those green orbs. I am growing to associate my own comfort and happiness with that girl sitting on my bed, my current somehow relation and forced wife. Sophia's tone sounded hesitant but heavy with unsaid messages. But without her saying a word  I knew  what was going to happen...I truly know what  is the point of such talk , the ideas running through her mind and becoming , soon, the topic of our next discussion. 

"Can't we just talk after dinner or tomorrow? I am just too tired." I replied trying to ignore the pained look that took over her features. I was trying to push last night's events away because of...Well I have my reasons but I doubt that Sophia will even take the time to consider them. She will just freak and flip on me and I have no will or power to go through any unneeded drama. I am just tired and had may share of troubles, since last evening.

"Too tired to give me five minutes of your time?" Sophia pleaded and her eyes begged silently for me to stay and hear her out again. She is trying to say those three words all over again. Yet this time I am awake and cannot play asleep or hum her to silence. I just have too much on my plate and truly want her to leave me alone. I want a day off of my life. Did you ever get such feeling ; that whenever you step forward move on and all fate seems to trip you and drag you back to square one? Well that's how I am feeling right now...And a confession of love regardless of it being wanted or not will just burden me because I need to respond to it with happiness, a feeling that I now cannot muster.

"Sophia, I am sure that whatever this is about can be rescheduled. Don't act childish, I am just too tired." I harshly spoke and her head fell down. I felt bad because I knew that I was hurting her but for now I cannot take care of the needs of two women. I just cannot split myself between them and I must look over the woman with the severest issues.

"Okay." Sophia said as she stood and started to walk toward me and the door that I was blocking. I wanted to tell her things but she might read much into them and for the moment keeping her blinded to what's going on is in her favor. Why tell her that I love her when I am currently caring for another woman's needs and prioritizing another being on her?

"Move a bit will you?" Sophia questioned without looking at me and I must say that this sad dull her made my heart twist in pain

"Don't be a kid gem. We will talk about this once I finish my business." I promised and tried to grab her hand but she pulled it away and looked me in the eyes. Hers were red and watery and I can predict what is going to happen next.

"You just know what I want to say that's why you are avoiding me, right?" Sophia yelled , for the first, not caring about the maids, my mother or brother. She for the first time since I met her is making a scene. Anger and hurt clearly took over her.

"You are just being dramatic. We will talk tomorrow." I said in a serious tone ignoring her glares. 

"What will change in such a short time?" Sophia questioned as she tried to step to the door but I continued to block it not wanting her to go downstairs in tears. My mother will probably if not surely kill me. Mother just became thrilled when Sophia and I started kissing, hugging and doing lovey dovey stuff " Is this about her again? Just be honest." Sophia yelled taking me out of my haze

"Huh?" I tried to act as nonchalantly  as possible but saw Sophia's eyes widening. Dammit, she knows!

"Out of my way." Sophia said sternly as a tear fell down her cheek. She tried to hold the rest but I guess the realization hit her like a wrecking ball and crushed her heart...I wanted to comfort her. My heart screamed for her and my soul wanted nothing more but to hug her her, kiss her and tell her that she is the only one...But why would I lie to her.

"She needs me." I confessed and saw Sophia freezing in her place. " Her brother died of cancer , three days ago. She loved him to death. He is her closest friend. Her mother called me, two days ago, saying that Liza is drinking heavily and that she needs saving. I just couldn't ignore her. I just couldn't let her break down." I tried to explain myself to Sophia but the latter just seemed frozen

"But it is okay for me to break." she hushed in a barely heard tone and sniffed fighting more tears. I wanted to apologize right there and then but I had promised Liza and I cannot twist my words around

"It is not like that gem. She is just needs me more." I promised taking a step toward her but she back away fast and raised her hand like a barrier between us.

"Don't. You just picked her, again. You will always pick her over me." She managed to say between sobs and I did not know what to do or how to act...My soul just was ordering me to hug her tight and kiss her pain away but what about my promise to Liza?

"It is not like that." I promised and stayed rooted in my place fearing to push Sophia away

"Are you back together with her? No, do you still love her?" Sophia asked but before I could answer a pained laugh left her trembling lips " of course you do. I mean you cannot say that you like me back because you still have feelings for your ex. I will never be good enough for you right?" Sophia continued and wiped her tears with the back of her hand then stood strongly as if gaining a new wave of confidence. She is just a fighter.

"I like you too but..." I confessed offering her a pleading look but only hate was returned 

"But you love her. But she is more important." Sophia filled for me and my head fell down. What did I do to deserve such insane life?

"I am sorry Sophia. Liza just needs me more. She was broken but after seeing me she stopped drinking. She talked to me only and made me promise to never leave her behind..." I informed in a sad tone...I am truly willing to help Liza but my heart is currently breaking wanting his Gem.

"Don't come crying to me when she cheats on you again." Sophia fired and walked past me hitting my arm with her shoulder and sending sparks into me.

"She is not that bad." I tried to defend but when Sophia stopped again frozen I regretted it

"But you are." she replied and saw her hands rise to her neck and a swift move the necklace that was given to her instead of a wedding ring was facing me. " Give this to her and bring her to warm your bed." She completed and reached for my hand, placing the necklace in my open palm and then leaving me alone to doubt all my actions and words. What did I just do? Have I done the right thing or did I mess up my life and especially that of Sophia's? What did she mean by bring liza to warm my bed? Is she moving away and if so where? Will this marriage finally end on such dark terms? Does Sophia hate me, now? Yet again what have I done?

"Axel...Son." I heard as I answered my phone " Liza have been asking for you. She didn't drink all day because you told her that you will come to visit but now she is actually wanting a drink and I cannot stop her, for much more time." Liza's mum informed and I couldn't but feel sorry for Liza

"I will be there in ten minutes." I promised ending the call "Please, forgive me Gem." I hushed stepping out of my room and running to the back door of the mansion to go unnoticed by my mother, Gem and Mitchell...For the moment, Liza needs me more and because of all those years we spent together I cannot just leave her behind and pretend like she does not matter. I just cannot.