Delivered // Mavin

4

-TW: Mention of self harm (Please read the A/N at the end)-

Michael's phone dinged and he picked it up. He read the text before glaring at Gavin and putting his phone back in his pocket. Gavin's eyes went wide. Michael just bloody ignored him! Gavin rolled his eyes. His upset mood had quickly turned to anger. "I'm going to take a walk," he almost growled out before standing up and walking out of the office. He decided to walk to his place. It was almost a half hour walk away, though, and tired him instantly. He hadn't been back to his home in so long, but still had the key in his pocket. He unlocked it and stepped inside, taken back by the sight. Everything was exactly how he left it. The kitchen was clean, living room too. Gavin checked his bedroom where the bed was unmade and there was a blood stain on the floor. Then he looked at the bathroom door. He braced himself before he opened it. It was clean enough to pass as normal, but the imagery in the back of his mind almost made him puke. The stupid thing he did to wind up with a babysitter was imprinted in the atmosphere of the room, suffocatingly vivid.

Gavin choked out a sob. He thought that was it. He though that day was going to be the last, but here he is. All because a stupid boy saved him. Yet that very same boy was tearing him apart. Gavin slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. He was grateful that no cameras were pointed at him right now. This is the side of him he would never want to audience to see. Gavin pulled his knees close to his chest for a minute before seeing something poking out of the cabinet under the sink. He moved forward and opened the cabinet. A little bag. Gavin remembers this bag very clearly. He opened it with shaky hands and dumped out its contents. A blood stained gauze pad and a small blade. Gavin shook his head at himself. He hadn't done it in so long and the scars he had were still slightly visible. Though he picked up the blade and stared at it for a moment. He pressed it against his wrist and shut his eyes and he dragged it across. He opened his eyes and stared at the blood that was bubbling up.

That one's for dad, Gavin thought. Then he did it again. For his brother. Thrice now, for his shitty actions. A four time for the way he expects things all too easily. Then a fifth and final time for Michael. Gavin stuffed the blade back in the bag and stared at his arm. He let a couple of tears drop from his eyes and onto the tiled floor. Then he patched up his arm and shoved the bag back under the sink, shutting the cabinet too. He got up with the help of the wall and trudged into the bedroom. His arm was stinging from not being cleaned properly. He shook it off. He deserved the pain, he thought. He searched for a jacket in his closet and tugged it on. Gavin wiped his eyes and sat down on the bed. His phone rang so he checked who was calling. It was Michael. He answered it with hesitation, "What's up?" "Don't 'What's up?' me. You've been gone for two fucking hours dude. Where are you?"
Michael snapped from the other line. "I said I was taking a walk. I just kinda got lost and ended up back at my house," Gavin sighed.

He could practically hear Michael's fist clenching, "Are you coming back? We need you for a video." Gavin thought for a minute, "I'll sit this one out. And uh.. I think I'm gonna stay at my place tonight. Is that okay? It just feels kind of useless to pay the bills and not stay in it." Michael huffed, "Sure dude whatever. Just don't do stupid shit and I'll swing by to pick you up in the morning." "Bye Michael," Gavin said before hanging up the phone. He felt bad for lying to Michael, but bloody hell was he making everything confusing. Gavin fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His emotions were sucked into a void of nothing as he laid there. Somehow it turned to night with how long Gavin was laying there and his eyelids were heavy enough to allow him some sleep. He didn't wake up until late the next day, but he only woke up because there was someone banging at his door. Gavin groaned and got up, accidentally brushing his arm against the wall and making himself wince. He answered the door to find Michael standing outside of it holding a bag. He let himself in and Gavin shut the door behind him.

"Gavin you do realize you are not only in a house, but the house isn't fucking cold right?" Michael joked, hinting at Gavin's jacket. "It was cold last night and I must've fell asleep in it," Gavin yawned. Michael shook his head and handed the bag to Gavin. He opened it and pulled out his medication. Gavin flashed Michael a smile before going into the kitchen for a glass of water to take the pills. Michael leaned on the counter, "So what's with you lately?" Gavin took another sip of the water and looked at Michael, "What do you mean?" Michael shrugged, "You sent that text after I said that to Jeremy and then stormed out. You didn't even want to stay at my fucking place dude. You do realize when I asked you that, I never actually said we were dating right? I just said we were exclusive." Gavin looked down, then he looked Michael right in the eyes, "What in the bloody hell does that mean, Michael?! First you kiss me then you say 'oh but we aren't dating'! Tell me what I'm supposed to do or I'm just going to leave!" Michael stared at Gavin wide eyed. Gavin crossed his arms, "Well what is it then?"

Michael sighed, "Gavin I'm sorry for being such a confusing asshole, but hell man! I set boundaries and you agreed. So what's with your bullshit?" Gavin gasped, "My bullshit?! How dare you blame me! I said I was fine with your bloody boundaries, but then you ignore me at work and don't even make an effort to check on me? How about your bullshit then?" "I didn't want to tell Jeremy because I knew when I did then it would slip from him to the guys or the audience! And I know you don't want that," Michael grabbed Gavin's wrist, which made him wince and yank it away. Michael looked at his wrist then back up at Gavin, "Let me see it." "No," Gavin pressed himself against the counter. Michael stepped closer, "Gavin. Let me see it. I'm not fucking playing." Gavin shook his head and kept his arm behind his back, "Sod off." Michael sighed and turned around. He started to grab his own jacket off the counter and head for the door. "Where are you going?" Gavin asked. "You obviously don't want me hear so I'm leaving. The fuck does it look like?" Michael rolled his eyes and opened the front door. "Michael-" Gavin was cut off by the door slamming shut.

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A/N: Guys feel free to message me if you need anything okay? I've been through the bad stuff myself and still am. I'll listen to you, I promise. And it will get better, trust me. I'm actually 206 days clean myself. (Thanks to the help of AH themselves. They even told me they were proud of me at LPL and that made me cry.) On another note, my birthday is on Sunday so you guys get a bonus chapter if I'm not too busy! <3