Never Gonna Happen (Seme Male Reader x Ging) {HxH / Hunter x Hunter)

chapter 23

reader pov

"....hey," he muttered as I put the last of the groceries away. he was leaning up against the island in the middle of the kitchen. "out of the kitchen, uvogin. my kids eat there," I said plainly. he said nothing, simply backing out of the kitchen like I had asked. after I put the ice cream away and the chips on top of the fridge, I set out the stuff I planned to make for dinner. boneless skinless chicken, broccoli, corn, and mashed potatoes. I planned to make a smoothie with fresh fruit and juice. "can....can I help?" he asked. "no, I got it," I said.

once everything was in the cooking process, I made my way to my big comfy chair. he took a seat on the sofa, still naked. I let out a deep breath. "uvogin, you need to leave," I started, placing my head in my palm. im tired. way to tired. this is putting more stress on my life than it should. its not healthy. not for me or my kids. he sighed. "sean...." he started. his expression showed that he was looking for the words to say. "we aren't married anymore. not dating either. why do you keep coming over my house?" I thought aloud. not to mention the blatant disregard for the few things I did ask of him, having given up on stopping him from coming over. 'stop being naked in front of my kids' I had said. 'act like there are children in this house as well' I had said. 'give a fuck about how what you do will affect them later on in life' I scolded. im glad it doesn't seem to bother them as much as It should. "....sean, I.....I love you," he put his head in his hands, resting his elbows on his thick thighs. the guy is still a bodybuilder. still about three times my size. nothing about his physical appearance has changed in the slightest. I figured he might have gotten fatter. nope, still lots of definition on him. he is still very much capable of finding someone else. he is just choosing not to. "uvogin, that's a lie. a huge one. nothing about you has changed in the time we have been apart," I said.

"its....its not, I swear! just being at home all alone just knowing that you were always just a phone call away, a short drive away. it only took ten or so minutes before I could be with you again. I mean....you are the reason im not fucking 500 lbs right now. I eat so fucking much, I work out so fucking much, just so I can be with you. hell, im more in shape than ive ever been in my life right now. just knowing....that over here I could be more comfortable than I am at home. im more comfortable in my own skin here. you would never see me walk around my own house naked, even though I only live alone. I miss....I miss us, sean. our relationship wasn't perfect, far from it, but.....at least for those few months, it worked. we'd go to work, come back home, tsk.....make love till I couldn't go to work the next morning. I missed how the kids used to look at me. I missed being called 'big dad'. I don't want sex, sean. I want....I want love again," he actually sniffled a little. "uvogin, you know the reason why we got divorced. it was obvious why we split after trying again. im not in the mood to just.....deal with you for the rest of my life, uvogin. I hated every second of my time being married to you and, to be honest, when we tried dating, It wasn't exactly a good time for me either. you say you wanted love but all I saw was some huge guy with an out of control libido who for some reason is insanely obsessed with me. I don't want you, uvogin. I have a new man. ive moved on with my life. have you even tried to move on with your life, uvogin?" I had never been more at wits end than I was right now.

"move on? how could I move on after all we been through, sean? how was I supposed to know that...that you'd mean so much to me," his voice was shaking at this point. "just...please go home, uvogin. I can tell you are just going through some things right now. probably some problems at work. just...go home and get yourself together. please, please stop coming over here. stop calling me. we are over," I don't know how many more times I could say it. I honestly don't know how more clear I could possibly be with him.

he stood up. good. looks like he is gonna go. he walked....towards me. "just one more time. let me have you one more time," he said as he walked over to me. "no, uvogin. im not adding more to your complex. go home. better yet, hit up a bar and go get lucky," I said. he shook his head, taking a knee right in front of me. he started working at my pants. I grabbed his hands. "I told you. I already have a boyfriend. this would be considered cheating on him," I said. he didn't listen. he never did. all he ever thought about was himself. what would make him happy. what would make him feel better at night. he gave zero fucks about me. he gave up on trying to undo my belt, this time just settling for tearing the motherfuckers off. tore my shirt trying to get me to kiss him. the tears still rolled down his cheeks. he gripped my arm, not letting me get away. "get off me, uvogin!" he had pulled me over to the sofa and straddled my hips. I still had my undies on but from how he was eyeing them, id say not for much longer. "one more time," he whispered, leaning down to kiss me. I didn't let him. I don't want this. I never did. never will. there was a period of time where I had thought I convinced myself that I wanted this but....well that was a lie. he started grinding his hips painfully against me. oh god does this bring back some memories. those nights while we were married. when he was horny and I was scared shitless. once again, I was reminded. it was once again made painfully clear that he was still stronger than I was. that I only had the advantage when he hadn't pinned me down. a black belt in karate is useless when a man who is three times your size and three times stronger is on top of you, hungry for something from you. the tears started flowing as he forced me to kiss him.