The Life of Bianca Evans

{Chapter 18: Worry Papers and Paperazzi}

Tuesday no one gave me any space. There were so many questions, I felt like a celebrity who was being followed by paparazzi. I guess the school had nothing better to do than question the friends of the newly dead 'hero.'

I still never laughed or smiled that much, and wore comfy,dark clothes and no makeup. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I still ate like crap and cried myself to sleep every night. But besides that I was completely back to normal.

Not.

I was being bombarded with kid's stupid questions.

I decided I never would want to be famous. It would be such a hassle, if paparazzi were half as bad as the kids here, I didn't want anything to do with them. 

I managed to get through first period without punching anyone, and was happy when I slumped into my desk in English class. It made me miss Gray even more since he had this class with me.

Our teacher was nice to me, though. She said she was going to give me homework still, just not as much as usual. I appreciated that, I couldn't concentrate on anything and would start getting bad grades if I couldn't concentrate anymore.

For the next week my life was okay, besides the fact my best friend and boyfriend died. Jess was there for me, and we hung out in the hot tub a lot. It was relaxing. I half-heartedly did my homework, not putting any effort into anything.

I basically lived like a bum. Eating chips, Ice cream, chocolate, etc. Wearing sweats and tank tops, all black. Not putting any effort into school, falling asleep in class, randomly breaking down crying any time I thought of Grayson. My grades slipped from A's and B's to D's and F's. I watched TV all day and slept the rest of the time. I weighed myself and I gained four pounds in a week. I just didn't care anymore.

The only thing I put any effort into was shopping. Jess took me shopping on Friday to get me out of the house. She put some makeup on me, shoved skinny jeans and a nice shirt on me with my tall back boots.

We bought so many clothes and shoes I wouldn't need clothes again ever. She also made us go out to a nice restaurant and made me eat a salad with some bread and we bought a smoothie at a local smoothie shop.

I had to admit, it felt good to be healthy and look good again. It was refreshing. And it got me thinking. I was a bum, a freaking bum. I didn't want to live like a bum. Grayson expected more of me than that. I also couldn't cry so much. My eyes had permanent bags under them.

So I changed myself, again. It seemed like I had done a lot of that lately. I guess I was just trying to find myself and what was me.

I gave Jess all of my stored up junk food, still wore black but now I at least put on jeans with a nice top. I put effort into my clothes, wore a little bit of makeup and worked out. Oh boy did I work out. I ate healthy and worked out every morning and night. I put effort into my homework and school, and strived to be at the top of every class.

I woke up at 5 a.m. Every morning, worked out, ate a smoothie and egg for breakfast, and took a shower. Then I got some nice clothes on, and went to school. I listened in classes, and took notes. I brought my own lunch of a chef's salad and a water bottle. Then I finished at school, and went home. I threw myself into my homework and even did weeks ahead. I had a lot to catch up on. I then grabbed a granola bar or light snack and worked out for hours. Hours. At first it was only thirty minutes, then an hour, and it grew to four hours. I stretched, took another shower and ate a late dinner, then went to bed at eleven.

I hardly ever watched TV anymore and only looked at my phone to text Jess and Jordan or to look something up for school. I soon lost those five pounds plus more. I wasn't a big person to begin with, but now I lost ten pounds, and people were starting to worry.