He Was There

9 Broken

It's been a month since my baby passed away. I've never felt such heartbreak in my entire life. Every thought I have is my passed child. Things I could have done to save her, what I did wrong, what if she did survive? I numb the pain with the expense of my liver. Zak has tried to get me to stop drinking. He's locked up all the alcohol in the house. It does him no good because I keep going and buying more when he's gone. I quit my jobs, and now I sit down on the couch or sleep in the bed all day. Zak is just as broken as I am. He hides his pain very well. I know it crushes him to see me like this. I hear him talking to Aaron all the time about me. He asks for advice on what to do and how to make it better. I remember eavesdropping on one of his conversations. It was late at night, and Zak thought I was asleep in bed. "Hey, Aaron." Zak sighs as he puts the phone on speaker. "Hey, bro, what's up?" Aaron asks softly. "I don't know what to do anymore. She's depressed, Aaron. She doesn't even smile anymore. We watched a comedy, and she didn't even laugh. She's gone, she's a drunk now. I don't know what to do. She quit all her jobs, and she stays here crying all the time. It hurts me to see her like this. The girl I fell in love with is gone." "Zak, the wound is still fresh. She's going to be down for a while. She just lost her child. You know how it is with a woman and their kids. It's hard on her. Here's what you do. Lock up all the alcohol and take away her money. Just show her she is still loved, and maybe one day she can have another child. She's just hurt. Trust me, and I would not talk to anyone if my child died." "She barely talks to me, Aaron. I've just learned to leave her alone and not bother her." Zak sighs upset. "There's your problem. You need to talk to her. She needs help through this. Take her mind off of it for a while." Aaron tries to give advice. "Like what should I do? She refuses to leave the house." "Well, you need to sit down and have a talk with her. I guess I scare her. Say like here you need to help provide and do your share or your out. She'll snap into it real quick." Aaron suggested. "I'll think about it. I'm actually kinda glad she's not working so many jobs." "She can't live off you forever, Zak. That's not what you're supposed to do in a relationship." "I understand that. I'll make her cook and clean. I'm going to hire her on the show and do like running around for us." "I don't think that's a good idea, Zak. She can set stuff up for us, but I don't think her running to stores with money and being depressed is a good idea." Aaron says to him. "Fine, she can set stuff up and drive us." Zak thinks about a new plan. "Okay, do you trust her behind the wheel?" "Yes." "Okay, then I guess she is starting next week?" Aaron asks. "Yes." "Alright, see you two then." "Alright, thank you, Aaron." "Anytime, Zak." They then hang up. I heard him sigh heavily. He never brought up me working with the crew.

I sit on the couch, completely wasted. Zak should be home any minute now. "Charlotte?" I heard his voice call me. I sit on the sofa not answering. He then walks into the room. We make eye contact, then he sighs. He comes over to me, taking the bottle out of my hands. "How drunk are you?" He says down. "Wasted," I mumble then sit back on the couch. "Charlotte, this has to stop." He rubs my back. "I know." I rest my head on his shoulder. "When your sober, we will talk about you working with me." He wraps his arms around me. "Okay." I then passed out on the couch.

I wake up to see I was in the bedroom. Oh my head. I look to see aleve and water on the night stand. Next to the water was a note. 'Charlotte, I hope your head feels better. I've ran out to the grocery store. I'll be back soon. I love you so much. When i get back we will talk. love Zachary." I then set the note down and look at the clock. Noon, i did sleep in. I really need to stop drinking. I go to the bathroom then start my routine. Forget this, i need a shower. I turn the water on and wait for it to get warm. I strip down and then i get in the steaming shower. I needed this. I stand there trying to wash away my hangover. I let the water splash on my face running down my body. I take my shower then get out. I look to see a figure sitting on the counter. I scream then cover myself up. "Sorry i didn't mean to scare you." Zak tells me as he continues to sit on the counter. I go over to the counter for my clothes. I look to see they were in Zak's hands. "Zak, i need my clothes." "I will, but we need to talk." he sighs looking down at the ground. I'm in trouble. Everyone knows its not good news when someone says 'we need to talk.' "Your breaking up with me." I look down at the ground heartbroken. "Charlotte, no." he sighs. "can i get dressed first please?" "Do you promise to sit down and talk?" he looks into my eyes. "yes." he then hands me my clothes then walks out. "Meet me in the living room when your done." he says from out side the door. I get dressed then go down to the living room to see him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. He doesn't want to have this talk either. I sit across from him and wait. He looks up at me. "Charlotte, i dont know where to begin." he sighs. "I'll go pack." i get up from the couch. "No, sit down." he tells me. I sit back down and look at him. "You need to stop drinking. You know how i feel about that. You went behind my back and bought more Vodka. I don't want you to spend your life getting drunk and not doing anything. You sit on the couch and stare at the wall. You don't even watch tv. You need to smile more. I know your going through a hard time right now and i understand that. It's normal for you to feel sad but you dont need to turn to alcohol for comfort. Do something you enjoy, take your mind off of it that way. Be happy. I hate seeing you like this. I want the old Charlotte back. You need to do something instead of sulk around. I want you to start helping out with chores and cooking. Your living here for free and aren't pitching in. I can take care of the bills but i need you to do the chores and keep the house clean please. Also your going to get a job. I found you a job that you can do. Your going to start coming on investigations and your going to be the driver, cook, and help set things up. I'll pay you and you will be apart of the team. If I come home and see you drinking again. I just might have to kick you out. I don't want to do that. I love you. I want you here and I want to help you. I've been trying to help you but your not meeting me. I want you here." Zak tells me as he looks in my eyes. "okay, i understand." i nod my head. "Can you agree to that?" "Yes, i can. I'm sorry i just dont know how to handle this. My baby girl Zak. Shes gone." i begin to cry. "awe Charlotte." Zak comes over to me rubbing my back. "It will be okay love." he tries to comfort me. "My baby girl is dead." "Charlotte, i'm sorry." he then wraps me in a big warm hug as i cry into his chest. "It will be okay I promise." He continues to comfort me. I finally stop crying and pull back. "Have you eaten yet?" "No." I wipe my eyes. "Okay, are you hungry?"he asks me softly. "Yes." I look down at the ground. I felt him place his hand under my chin then turns my head to look at him. "I love you. You'll get through this. We will get through this together. You just have to trust me." He tells me softly. "Okay." I nod my head. He then leans closer and kisses me. I haven't kissed him in a month. It felt so good to have him kiss me again. I put my hands in his hair and deepen the kiss. I've missed this. Just feeling his soft wet lips on mine. I tried to make this go far. Zak held me by my waist holding me close. Just kissing this man makes me hot. He's so sexy and amazing. I love him so much. No matter how far i may have pushed him, away he's always in my heart. Just having him hold me and kiss me again is pure heaven. My strong man. I love him so much. I could tell he'd missed kissing me too. His kiss was hungry but loving. Just hearing the sound of his breathing and him sucking on my bottom lip. I slid my hands down to the bottom of his shirt. He gave a quick smirk then kissed me again. I tugged on it telling him I want it off. "Not now baby girl." He whispered as he puts his hand on the side of my face. I look into his eyes to still see sadness that lingered there. "I would, but I have to go to a meeting." He breaths. I look down upset at the rejection. I take my hands off of him continuing to look away. "Baby girl, later I promise. Don't be upset. This meeting is very important. I can't be late." He comes over to me. He takes my hand in his making me look him in the eyes. "Baby, when I get home OK. That is if your are sober. I will not touch you when you are drunk." He tells me softly. "Alright." I nod my head. "I love you. Now get some rest." He kisses my cheek then walks away. I watch as he grabs his keys and phone. He waves to me then walks out the door. I sit on the couch not knowing what to do. I thought about my secret stash of alcohol but then I thought of Zak. I get up going to the fridge and find something to eat. I ate then sat on the couch. I get up and go to the key holder. I notice my keys were gone. What? Where are my keys? I then search for them unable to find them. I then go upstairs to where o keep my phone. I notice my phone was not plugged in. All that was there was the charging cord. What? I put it there last night. Where is it? I search the house becoming unsuccessful in my search. I give up and go back down stairs. I grab the house phone and call Zak. "Hello? Is everything okay?" Zak asks me worried. "Yes, do you know where my phone and keys are?" I ask him. "No, I don't." He tells me. "Oh OK." I sigh. "Why?" "I'm bored and I want to go out." "Where?" " I don't know. Maybe Hailey's or subway." I tell him. "When I get home we can go out." He tells me. "When are you going to get here?" I ask. "I should be back at five." He answers. I could hear music playing in the background and the crew talking. "Dude, come on. Its your turn." Aaron tells him. "Babe, I have to go. The meeting is starting." He tells me. He's not going to a meeting. He's out with his friends. "Have fun. Tell the guys I said hi. Don't party to hard." I tell him. He was silent. "Babe..." He starts. "Zak, just go have fun." I sigh. "Baby,no. I..." "Zak,its fine. I don't care." "Baby, please don't be mad or do anything irrational. I love you." He tells me. "You too." I hang up. I don't understand why he has to lie to me. He couldn't just say he was going out with the guys? Do I not deserve the truth. I sit down on the bed starring at the ceiling. He's lying to me. What else is he lying about?

**Zaks POV **

Charlotte then hung up on me. Fuckn a. Ugh. How did she know I wasn't in a meeting? She's going to be drunk when I get home. I know it. She has a stash of alcohol, but I can't seem to find where she hides it. "G, everything good?" Aaron asks me. "Yeah, I guess. Just trouble with Charlotte.". "What about this time?" Billy asks me. "I told her I was going to a meeting and got found out I'm not. So she's just upset. I'm afraid she's going to be drunk or seriously injured." I explain. "Dude, I'm going to give my opinion. Dump her and kick her out. She's a sorry drunk. She's mooching off of you. She needs to fucking move on. She lost her chance. You've tried everything to help her, but she's refusing to change. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink."
Billy says. I nod my head, understanding where he's coming from. "In this case, stop drinking." Aaron laughs. "Guys, I love her. " "if you love her, you must let her go. She sees the struggle. Then the shell gets better. She needs a strong case of reality." Jay voices his opinion. "I don't know. I love her. Just because she's going through a tough time, I don't want to give up on her." "If you love her, you'll let her go and be hard on her. She needs to wake the hell up. She's using you. " billy says. "Bro, you have to let her go for her own good and yours. Do you realize she can die? She needs help. Help her out and kick her out. That's the only way she will learn. " Aaron tells me as he places his hand on my shoulder. "I understand. For her own good, I will." I sigh, heartbroken.