Our Forbidden Love

Chapter 18

I try to come up with a good excuse for the after-fucking-school talk.
"My mom just called and she said our dog died. I need to go home." Lame.
"I can't stay. Cameron just called me over to his house so we can make out." Even more lame.
"Can't stay because you're giving me cancer when you talk." Well. That works.

Know what? Fuck it. Imma just go and get this shit done. Plus I'm only seeing him for a couple of weeks and then adiós amigo. I'm out fuckers.
Okay. Here goes nothing.

The door was closed. I go in without bother to knock, expecting to see him making out with a student on my desk. Instead I find him looking up from his desk.
"I've been waiting. Have a seat."
"I'm not the type of person who would sales you out on a date just because I'm enjoying the moment."
"I know you're not. Now have a seat." He repeats himself.
I sat down. "So wha-"
"Kathrine. You need to take things seriously. You can't-"
"Me? Excuse me. I should be the one who said that not you. Hello, have you lost your mind?"
"Katherine."
"What? I'm done talking about it. If you want to do this all you have to fucking do is ask. And if don't, just like what i've said. I'll walk away ,and I did. Happy? Now can I go home now, I have better things to do than just sitting here and talking to you about some stupid nonsense shit."
"You know I'm doing this for our own good right?"
"I don't care okay? Jesus Christ."

I stand up ready to walk out the door until a hand grab my shoulder and turn me around and into his arms.
"For god sake. I'm sorry okay? It was my fault that day. I can't control what I'm feeling inside of me whenever I'm with you, or even just looking at you. I can't think straight. Period. This is how much affect you have on me. You know that. God" He tightens his hug.
"Then you decided to take it on me huh? Is that what you're trying to say? And a week later you said that this doesn't work out. what the actual fuck Danielle." I fight myself to get lose from his hug.
"I need to go home. I can't take anymore of this bullshit. Have a good day to you sir."

I left the room.

• one week later •

Me and Cam have gotten a little closer now. I'm sorry for I've treated him harshly for the past few weeks and for letting him think that I've changed. He said it was okay. Every relationship have Ups and Downs but it's important that we have faith and trust in each other that's love.

Cam have gotten awfully close to my mother. I mean he already earned himself my parents' trust but he's my mom's best friend now. Yeah I know. I cringed. But that's not the point. The point is we decided to take our relationship to the next step.

He talked to me yesterday about the whole prom thing. He, Matt and some of his crew booked a hotel on the 21st of April which Prom night. He asked me if I was comfortable with it if I spend the night there with him and if not, or I'm not 'ready' yet he cancel it. I told him I'll take that under consideration. And I did think about it. I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if he's 'the one'. I'm just.. not sure if everything is just too fast. I have approximately 4 days to think before I made my final decision.

• the next day •

I go to school as usual. I kept telling myself that once I took the Exam, I'll never have to come back here again. And it's only 3 weeks away before the Final.

Mr. Griffis and I kept on avoiding each other's eye contact and starting a conversation. It pains me to think that I barely know him and yet I have this sense that he's the one. I don't know. I don't want to fall in love if  he doesn't want to try. It's pointless. Fucking pointless and it's only one-sided.
And guess who's gonna end up getting their heart break? Me of course, who else. And it did. I can feel it every time I see him. Every time I lay on my bed at night. The memories kept flooding back in my head and believed it or not, I cried myself to sleep.
Now I'm just gonna let things stay this way. At least I'm safe. For now.