Hold Me Too Tight (previously Angel of Music; ON HOLD)

Chapter One

“There’s a new family moving in next door, Claire,” my mom says to me over dinner. We’re having steak and potatoes for the second night in a row. I don’t say anything, but she continues, “They have a son, too. He’s your age.”

I push around a few red-skinned potatoes on my plate. I knock a potato underneath the table where Sugar, my black lab, lies at my feet. I don’t look at my mom as she speaks.

“His name is Jonathan,” she insists, “I think you should meet him. It would be nice if you made some new friends or any friends really.”

I look up at her and stare at her. Her green eyes are dim and her wrinkled face tries to offer a smile. She thinks I’ve lost it, I can tell.

“What happened to that Amy girl you had been friends with back in middle school?” Mom looks down at her plate as she forks another piece of steak into her mouth.

Amy Davis is who she means. Amy Davis and I used to be friends back in seventh grade, before that awful incident at the talent show. I passed out on stage and a paramedic had to come get me in a flashing red and white ambulance. Amy was ashamed of me and she shunned me like the others when I returned to school. We haven’t spoken since.

“Nothing,” I lied, “It just didn’t work out.”

Mom sighs, “You’re meeting Jonathan, and you’re going to be nice. I’m inviting their family over for dinner tomorrow night.” She’s not giving me a choice now. This strange boy is going to be in my house tomorrow, and I was going to have to meet him. “He’ll be new at your school,” she adds, “So show him around.”

I nodded, “Can I be excused?”

She nods. She’s worried about me. I don’t really have any friends and that scares her.

Sugar follows me upstairs and I scratch her ears as I plop into the spinning chair in my room and wait for my computer to start up. The screen turns from blue to the desktop screen and I log into my AOL. I scroll through my inbox, muttering, “Spam. Delete. Spam. Delete.” My eyes hover over an email that reads Do You Want to Lose Five Pounds? Delete.

I look at the picture on my desk. Dad. He looks downright handsome in his dress blues, and he’s smiling, but age is wearing on his face. It’s been five years. I press two fingers to my lips and kiss the frame.

My bed beckons me. I’m worn and tired, and I rub my eyes sleepily. There’s a familiar Ping! as I receive a message on my AOL. It’s from Natalie Hopkins, but it’s only a mass send invite to her birthday bash.

Natalie Hopkins is the Queen Bee of school and also head cheerleader. She’s not mean to me, but then again, she doesn’t really notice I exist. On the other hand, she isn’t hard to miss with all of that bleach blond hair on top of her head. The boys in school think the world of her, and who wouldn’t, with a pretty face like that and a dad as rich as hers? I think the world of her too, mainly because she has everything I don’t.

I open the invite. It’s pretty short and simple, but I hardly scan the thing anyway. It reads:

Hello peers! Natalie Hopkins here, your favorite cheerleader. I’m hosting a party at my house Saturday night. Everyone is welcome and feel free to bring a guest. Hope you can make it!!! -N

I would not be going to Natalie Hopkins’ party. I don’t really go to parties. I wonder if Jonathan likes parties. I wonder if he’s a jock, or a nerd, or if he’s like me. Not that I care, because Jonathan and I are not going to be friends. He won’t like me. Most people don’t, that is. Why should he be any different?

I secretly start to wonder, what if he did like me? I mean, really like me, for who I am, not for everything he’s heard about me. What if he doesn’t? What if he hates me automatically? I try to convince myself I won’t care either way what he thinks, but I realize that the opinions of others really does take a toll on someone, even if you don’t want it to.

I flop back onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. The drywall is peeling. My eyes struggle to stay open as I lay there. It’s only nine o’clock and I’m exhausted. Tomorrow’s Sunday, which gives me the whole day to prepare for Jonathan, mentally, of course. I don’t wear makeup, or doll myself up for people. I don’t see the point in it.

I hit the side of my bed and Sugar jumps up beside me. I close my eyes and suddenly, I’m drifting into a dreamless, light sleep. When I wake, Sugar’s licking my face. It’s eight, and she wants to go outside, again.

“Alright, I’m awake!” I groan. She yawns and wags her tail happily. I drag myself downstairs to find my mom making tea in the kitchen. I open the side door to let Sugar outside, and look in the cupboards for cereal. I decide on Cheerios and rub the sleep from my eyes. I’m struggling to stay awake as I chew.

“Morning,” mom says, smiling. There’s a U-Haul parked next door in the driveway. My old neighbors, the Henson’s, were an older couple. They have been married for fourty years this summer, and were the nicest people. Mr. Henson really enjoyed my father's company especially. He was an ex-marine in the Vietnam War and always told my father stories of the fight. Though very nice and well-rounded, Mr. Henson wasn't the most right in his mind. The war really messed him up. They had had two children, boys, but they were grown now and married. One of the sons was the father of the family that was now moving in next door. Jonathan’s father.

The passenger door slams, and a tall, tan boy walks to the back of the U-Haul. I don’t see his face, but he’s blond and very fit. I assume it’s Jonathan and my breath catches.