After Him/ Completed

Leaving

Something I've learned from my limited experience
Is that things don't happen by coincidence
That girl you felt self-conscious about while dating him
Will be the girl he decides to go out on a limb with
When he told you he'd never hurt you
Once you get rid of him you figure out something new
The only source of healing I've found is friends and music
Without those things
I'd definitely be losing it
Things hurt
People change
Right before our eyes
We realize and believe their gullible lies
They were fake to us the whole time
People say it takes time
Well what if my time is limited?
What if I'm not strong enough for the hurting?
What if I'm not made for this?
Silly, pathetic, hurtful
Relationships
Maybe someone will realize who I am
More than just a piece of meat
More than someone to stare at lustfully
Instead I'd rather be loved blissfully
The type of love where it's not possible for you to start hurting me
The type of love where you can't breathe
Because you love me
You love me
Because if you loved me
Or even cared
Maybe you would've humbly shared
What's going on in your mind
Instead of having me read you all the time
This is more than just words made into a rhyme
I'm tired of you treating girls as if they should be grateful
Grateful to talk to you
Grateful to kiss you
Grateful to be with you
The only thing any girl has to be grateful for
Is that their daddy has got a gun hidden by the door
Is for their momma picking up groceries at the local store
Instead of being with you and crying on their bedroom floor
You hurt girls more than anything
It hurts my throat when I try to sing
Because of those things you told me
The same lips that kissed yours on my face
With memories you can't replace
But wish to erase
But I loved you and I couldn't tell you
I fell far too soon
I fell far too close to you
Falling in love isn't something I had planned
But having to end things because of you being distant
Is something I can't stand
Because I loved you
I loved you
I loved you far too early
But you were unknowingly hurting me
Or so I thought
This isn't the first time things have ended this way for you
That decision was the hardest I've ever had to choose
I pressed my heart and hit snooze
Because maybe this isn't something I'm meant to do
People tried telling me I could change you
But the last time that happened I ended up dying inside
Being belittled so badly I felt the need to hide
Being in a battle with you isn't one I'm willing to fight
You're the reason I stay up at night
Just remembering your face isn't something I wish to see in my sight
I saw a future for us that was burning bright
But little did I know I was being blinded by the light
The light in your eyes
Where you've had multiple cries
Your smile being something I wish to hold onto
But little did I know I'd lose
I'd lose you
Myself
And everything in between
So here today I promise myself
To lock up my heart and put it on the highest shelf
I'm not meant for loving anyone
Especially myself
Love isn't for me
I say through my gritted teeth
I couldn't sleep in my bed for weeks
Because of the scent you left on my sheets
Where my fingertips traced shapes on your back
As you smiled and slowly fell asleep
I should've held you closer to me
I should've never left you
I should've kept you
But I left you
Because sometimes
Leaving is the best thing to do