Diary of a girl with feelings

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Everyone thinks it's easy. Moving on. How can i forget you? My heart still craves for you. Every damn night. I hate that effect you have on me. Making my heart beat faster within seconds. Making me wanna kiss your lips. How am i supposed to forget those eyes. Those damn eyes. 

It feels like you know all my secrets when you look me in the eyes. I still want you. I still want us. to be together. But i can't. It's wrong and it's not like you actually care or something. I try to hate you. With all my power and strength. How can i still be in love with you? How am i supposed to forget that cute smile that makes me melt everytime? I still see you in my dreams. But dreams aren't reality. 

You hurt me again and again and again. You keep shooting me with a gun. You repeat that shit everytime. You're gonne kill me one day. I don't know how much i can take anymore. I'm still in love with you. Even after you rejected me and i don't know if it will ever stop. It's like you carved your name in my heart. Called dibs on it even though you don't wanna be with me. i think... 

I try and try and try. It's so hard. I try to forget everything. All the cute moments and it hurts as hell. it's like pulling your heart out of your chest. Tears roll down my cheeks as i delete every piece of your existence. Every memory. My finger wants to press the delete button, but it stops. A frown appears on my face. i wanna click but i can't. I hear a voice mumbling something. But what if he's actually sorry? What if he's in love with you? What if he regrets what he did? What if he wants to be with you? There's no emotion on my face. I can't. Another tear rolls down my face.

                                                                         **presses delete**