crush » [n. horan au]

diary entry #15

wednesday, september 4th @ 16:39

                school started yesterday. i don't have any classes with niall. it made me really upset, i need him. he needs someone too, i know that. i wanna be that someone.

                i saw him at lunch today. he was wearing a sweater, even though it's still summer. i highly doubt any of his friends even cared to notice. no one noticed. no one, except for me.

                i asked him if i could talk to him in private. all of his friends whistled, but he knew what i wanted to talk about. he ignored them and we found an empty classroom where we could talk.

                i asked him about his summer and he asked me about mine. i asked him how he was feeling, he shrugged. then, i asked him to show me his scars, and he did. he trusted me. i cried again. he hugged me again. he asked me why i cared so much.

                and then i told him that i liked him.

                i can't believe i actually did that. after i told him, i ran out of the classroom, i went to the girls' bathroom and i couldn't stop crying. he's so beautiul, like an angel, and he's hurting himself. and without even realizing it, he's hurting me too.

                i still love him.

                                                                                                                                                        - cassie