diary entry #14

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by strabucks

by strabucks

saturday, august 3rd @ 19:45

well, today has been weird. and yes, it involved niall. i actually saw him today...

i went to mcdonald's with some of my friends just because we felt like pigging out, and he was there.. with his friends. the weird thing was that he was wearing a leather jacket, even though it's like a hundred degrees outside. and none of his friends seemed to notice that!

i'm afraid that my assumptions were correct. i walked up to the refill machine when he was there getting napkins and i pretended to trip and spilled my soda (smooth huh?) and he kneeled down to help me. his right sleeve moved up a bit and i saw them.... he had scars. the worst part was that he saw me see them. and then he recognized me, and remembered me.

i talked to him for a bit, and then i went back to my friends. after that, i couldn't concentrate on anything any of my friends were saying and i left earlier than i wanted to 'cause i just couldn't bear looking at him, it hurt me too much, even though he may be hurting way more than me.

anyway, as i started walking my way back, he followed me outside. he stopped me and begged me not to tell anyone. i almost started crying. he hugged me. he told me not to cry because of him. i told him that i didn't like seeing him that way, that it made me sad. he told me that he's been trying to stop. i told him that he doesn't deserve those scars, i promised i wouldn't tell anyone and i kissed his cheek before walking away.

i don't know where any of that came from. maybe it's just because i realized that he's way more vulnerable than i thought he was in the first place, and that gave me the courage. i wanna take care of him, i want his pain to go away. heck, i'd take his pain if i could.

i still love him.

- cassie