crush » [n. horan au]

diary entry #9

saturday, june 1st @ 16:48

                so, you're probably wondering why i wrote that horrible "letter" to myself the other day. it's niall. everything just seems to be about niall lately. wow, i'm such a loser. i can't not cry while writing this. i'm such a girl.

                niall aka my crush doesn't talk to me that much anymore, and i miss it. i want to talk to him, i want to listen to his beautiful voice. i miss him. he changed. a lot. i want the old niall back. he just seems so sad nowadays, and that makes me sad. and then yesterday, something else happened...

                it was after school. i had just got my stuff from my locker and i was waiting for my friends at the front of the school. then, i saw it. i saw him. he walked up to a gorgeous brunette and he hugged her from behind, then he grabbed her hand and they walked away together.

                i almost started crying. my heart shattered into a million pieces, and he would never know. i hate everything. my friends soon came afterwards, but i didn't care 'cause i literally ran home. i got home and couldn't stop crying. i couldn't stop telling myself how ugly i look compared to that girl.

                could she be the reason niall doesn't talk to me anymore? i just can't even say his name anymore, it hurts. wow, he actually managed to break my heart without even knowing it. i'm such a loser.

                                                                                                                                                        - cassie