Playing on broken strings.

chapter 22

“You see that’s where you couldn’t be more wrong, he said he’s still not over you Pip you need to go and see him if not for yourself for Justin he needs you and I can tell you need him too” Christian says while patting me reassuringly on the back.

Christian is right seeing Justin might help me but I just don’t think I have the guts to contact him first if only he would make an effort to be in my life again I could be with him.

But I can’t id be putting his life at risk as well as my own.

I still love him though nothing will ever be able to change that.

“i guess your right I just don’t think I can make the first move” I say truthfully as Emma turns the tv up again and we resume as normal.

From then on the night seemed to be going as Friday nights normally do we eat watch tv eat some more then sleep.

But then all of a sudden just as we were all drifting off to sleep there is a loud banging at the front door.

We all immediately wake up as Christian switches on the light and walks towards the door.

Fear began to go through my body as I thought of all the possibilities of who it could be.

Something in the back of my mind made me believe it could be my dad which frightened me to death.

I heard Christian open the door and gasp slightly

The cold wind from outside hit my face as my vision cleared and I could finally see who was at the door.

Justin.

But this wasn’t Justin he stumbled into the room the stench of alcohol quickly attacked the aroma and made us all feel uncomfortable.

“Justin what are you doing here man it is 1am?!” Christian says trying to keep his voice calm as Justin was clearly not in a mood to be messed around with.

“Where is Pippa” was all Justin could manage to slur out.

“I’m here” I sheepishly replied.

He looked over at me and didn’t say a word.

The bags hung under his eyes making him look ten years older his hear clearly un styled and messy looked uncared for the tattoos ran up his arms and across his chest looked like battle scars but what hurt me most was the look in his eyes. It was distant far lost he wasn’t himself.

He still stood there not saying a word while trying to stand up straight then to my surprise he did something I had never seen him do.

He eyes began to fill with tears his knees gave up on his as he fell to the floor.

Tears spilled down his face as he made a low whimpering noise, the kind of sound you hear a dog make when its master has died.

He began to rock slowly back and forth while not taking his eyes off me for one second.

Slowly he began to speak.

“Pippa don’t leave me” he whimpered.

“Come back”

“Don’t Go”

He was repeating the words he said that night when I walked away from him.

At this moment it all became too much for Emma as she burst into tears and ran out of the room, Christian however just sat on the chair looking at Justin.

“Justin I am here” I said to him trying to calm him down however I didn’t want to touch him.

“Don’t listen to them, they don’t know me, that’s not me, I’m not that person” he cried.

“What do you mean Justin you are not making any sense” I said clearly so he would understand.

“The paps, they tell lies, I never wanted to hurt anyone, no matter how hard I try they find something for me to do wrong. Im losing myself Pippa I don’t know who I am anymore you made me. You were the only thing I had going right then I lost you and It was my fault IT WAS ALL MY FAULT” he said whilst banging his fists on the table.

“Where has my smile gone? The fans are used to the Justin they fell in love with not this drunken monster. I have lost my respect my family my friends, you and what can I do about it? Nothing! Because I was the one who let it all happen I let you walk away, I let them get to me, I let myself go out and party at night clubs with strippers, I let myself lose myself. I never should have let you leave I should have proven to you how much you meant to me. But it looks like I am here just digging my grave even further. What am I even saying? Why would you want to be with a drunken mess like me who is a good for nothing dick.” As he finished this sentence he resumed he rocking as his crying became hysterical.

I felt tears of my own flowing down my face as I could no longer control myself I just had to comfort him.

I slowly approached Justin as I wrapped my arms around his back and lightly whispered in his ear.

“Shhhh its okay im here now Justin” I said as I rubbed my hand up and down his arm.

His tears soon subsided as he fell asleep right there on the floor.

I let go at him stood up and looked at the sight before me.

There in front of me lay.

Justin Bieber inspirational to many, the love of my life and he was completely broken.

And I don’t know what I can do to fix him.