Homeward Bound

Part 1

LUNA

3:33 A.M.

Silence is anything but peaceful, and nighttime only makes it uglier.

What's peaceful about lying flat on your back, legs tangled within the sheets, feeling the pace of your heartbeat steadily quicken and the ringing in your ears getting louder as soon as you realize you hear it? What's calming about every what if, bad memory, and past regret seeping into the fibers of your mind and settling there like a cobweb you just can't reach? The longer I lay there, the more the quiet felt like an all encompassing weight that just wouldn't lift itself from my chest.

The body of the boy sleeping next to me stirred when I adjusted the sheets. I listened to the sound of Tanner's breathing - soft, and wonderfully constant. Even from the other end of the bed, the heat radiating from him was inescapable. I didn't mind though. For a moment I just laid still, studying his face. Long lashes are such a waste on boys.

I closed my eyes, and tried to match my breathing with his.

3:47 A.M.

I couldn't take it anymore.

My clothes were lying in a little pile on the floor, just out of reach. For whatever reason the sight of them made me feel vulnerable, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of that room. Doing my best not to wake him I sat up, instinctively reaching for the blanket at the end of the bed to cover me before getting out.

Tanner's bedroom was uncharacteristically tidy tonight, and smelled of the clean pile of laundry in the chair across the room, weed, and lilac air freshener he'd sprayed just after I got there to cover up the smell of the weed. Outside the window the sky had begun to transition from the pitch black of night to the melancholy gray of an early summer's morning that promised to be rainy.

He was awake. How long he had been I don't know, but he was awake. I listened to the sound of his skin moving against the sheets as he sat up, and I was conscious of his eyes on me as I stood and began to dress.

For a moment I didn't think he was going to say anything, but there was a pleasant, sleepy warmth to his voice when he did.

"Should I be offended that you were going to leave without saying goodbye?"

That's the thing about boys like him. They always wind up being just too kind for someone like me. It was good while it lasted, though. I yanked the chain with my house key on it over my head, fully aware that I was running out of time to think of something to say.

Never again, I thought to myself. Not with him.

"I have to get home before my Dad wakes up." I said, dragging my flip flops out from under his bed.

"Luna?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about your Mom."

The early morning light suited Tanner well. It was then that I noticed the faint shadows under his eyes, and the way that his smile still lingered in his eyes long after it was gone from the rest of his face. I averted my gaze, tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and began to gather my things.

By the time I collected my phone, lipstick and purse that were scattered around the room he was out of bed, looking me up and down as he moved in. He kissed me full on the lips, warm and pleasantly familiar. For the briefest of moments I sank into it, letting his hands move from my lower waste and up to the bare skin beneath my tee shirt. Before he could kiss me again I pulled back, giving his hand a squeeze as I moved towards the door.

Never again. Not with him.

"See you Tanner."

"Bye Luna."

There was exasperation and sadness in his eyes, but I liked that he watched me go.

The rain began when I was halfway down the driveway, painting delicate little pictures on the window panes of the houses that I passed on my walk home. I've never really understood the Los Angeles attitude towards rain. Slightest hint of a drizzle and the freeways slow to a crawl even more maddening than normal.

Dad would be waking up soon, and he was already anxious about getting me to the airport on time. I quickened my pace.

That's it for Part 1 :) Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!