Love Void and Found

CHAPTER 6

I stared at the ceiling laying upright on my bed, it had been two weeks since what happened between Lineo and I had occurred, and I hadn't gone to see her. I had been working over hours and drowning myself in paper work and court disputes trying to forget about her because I couldn't bring myself to gain the confidence to go and talk to her even though seeing her brought me life.
All I wondered is if it was worth the worry? I didn't even know what was bothering me because initially, the fact that she was pregnant really tore me down but I wanted to be with her. The pregnancy was uncalled for; never mind my sudden explosion of uncontrolled feelings. I wouldn't have wished what I was going through even on my worst enemy.
Every time I figured how many times I used the word 'I' in a sentence, I felt guilty because that's what led me to leaving the poor girl drowning in tears all alone. I was certain she despised me; I had no iota of doubt. But what could I do? Go to her and I apologise, maybe, but she would probably just get nauseated by the mere sight of me.
It was a chilly Saturday and the past two weeks had been hell. I didn't know how I was going to cope without Lineo in my life. Whenever it sunk in, I realised how insane it sounded. I barely knew the girl; we hadn't dated at all or even talked about initiating that process. I sounded like a pervert, but I didn't care, I was a pervert for her, it didn't feel wrong. As a matter of fact it felt right.
I unconsciously stood up and took a long cold shower where I then analysed every single detail about my life to the core, I then tried to figure out the missing pieces to this puzzle I was trying to fix. I slowly got dressed, took my car keys and drove to the nearest florist. I walked in and bought a red rose, it was cheesy but I am an old fashioned man. I believe if you're wrong apologise, if you've messed up find a way to be forgiven, and a lady always appreciates the beauty of a rose.
Without any stops, I drove straight to renaissance and walked into the restaurant. There she was, and as always, glowing with a beautiful smile. I went towards her, praying for strength. Our eyes met, it felt like a movie, I heard the sweetest melody in my head when I saw her. Her expression changed and her face gloomed pain. She tried to dodge but before she stepped any further I flinched and grabbed her and she almost slipped but I couldn't let her.
"Lineo, please, wait..." I said, forcing my voice to stop the vibrate I felt coming on. "I'm extremely sorry, I know I hurt you, I know but I have something important to tell you. Please, just give me a chance."
"5 minutes. Go." She harshly responded.
We sat down and she told one waitron to hold the fort for her.
I went as fast as I could, "Listen, I..., you see, the reason I left the other day is because I couldn't watch you cry and not be able to do anything about it. I felt hopeless and that made me feel like less of a man. This isn't what you want to hear and Ill understand if you kick me out but I'm pleading with you. Allow me to be someone of significance in your life, let me be there for you. I promise to take care of you, nurture your every wound and scratch until healed. Give me permission to be the man you never had and your child to have the father you one day dream he will have."
She kept silent and looked me dead in the eye while a tear trickled down her cheek and didn't utter a word. I couldn't tell whether she was happy, shocked or mad. Still as she could be, she was of no movement. I knew there and then that this was a moment in my life that would either make or break me. All pride was gone; I was willing to do anything for her to accept my offer. I just wanted her to say something to me. But Lineo just sat there as still as death.