right there in the details | camren (au)

19

"Well," he says, shaking his head a little. "Either way, I reckon both of you will really need to step it up for the next half of the season - especially after that dreadful game you lost in front of those scouts."

You can feel a simmer of anger in the center of your chest, but before you can say anything else, your father adds, "I assume you want to pursue a professional career in field hockey, too, Lauren?"

Lauren shifts a little uncomfortably in her chair. "Yes - I mean, I'd like to, sir, but I also like to keep my options open."

Your father's eyes narrow ever so slightly and the tight feeling in the center of your chest increases. "What does that mean exactly?"

Lauren tucks her bottom lip back with her teeth. "I'd like to play field hockey and if I'm lucky enough I hope to pursue a career in it - but I don't want it to dominate my entire life, so I'm also exploring other options."

You hold your breath, while your dad thinks on that. Then, he says, rather briskly. "Then what are you doing on the team exactly?"

Something snaps inside of you. "Papa."

Your mother reaches out to place her hand over yours, but you shrug it off, anger spiking in your veins.

"What now, Camila?" Your father looks at you, genuinely confused. "All I'm saying is that it might not be beneficial for the team if certain players are not entirely focused on what's at stake, because they are 'keeping their options open'."

He glares so specifically at Lauren that your anger rips right through you.

"First of all," you snap. "It's thankfully none of your fucking business what Lauren chooses to do or not to do."

"Camila," your mother cuts in, eyes wide.

Sofi gasps, before stammering. "Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar..."

You ignore them both.

"Second of all," you snap. "Maybe there are more important things than field hockey. Maybe some people care more about being a compassionate, intelligent and driven individual than about some fucking game."

"Camila, do not talk to your father like that-"

"Three dollars-"

"Camz-" Lauren starts, but you don't let her cut in.

It's like something has been torn loose inside your chest, something that's been stuck for a very long time.

"And finally," you cut out, aiming your words directly in your father's face. "Just so you know, I'm actually 'keeping my options open' too, because I'm done with doing things only for you. I'm fucking done with living your dream for you."

Your father stares at you hard. You're breathing is a little uneven, but at the same time there's a strange kind of clarity in your head. You didn't even realize how much you'd been building up to saying these things. You still don't know exactly what you're trying to say - but at the same time, you know that you're getting closer to something inside of you that you've been trying to ignore for as long as you can remember.

Your mother bites her lip and shakes her head at you, a slight look of hurt on her face. Sofi just stares at her plate, not even commenting on you swearing another time.

Lauren shifts, before looking up at your father, who still hasn't moved or said anything. "I'm sorry, sir," she stammers. "I didn't mean to cause any negativity."

At that, your father turns to her. His expression changes right away.

"No, I'm sorry," he says. "It wasn't my intention to be confrontational. I'm sure the team is very lucky to have you. My apologies for the way I phrased my concerns."