Chapter 14

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Chapter 14- So We're Not Even Going to Talk about This?!

Clary's Pov-

I felt shifting around the bed as I woke up. The light from the window hit my eyes and I groaned which only increased the pounding in my head. "What happened last night?" I asked to myself.

I heard a groan behind me and turned around to see where it came from. I held the sheet up to my body to cover myself. My eyes met familiar gold ones. My eyes widened as memories from last night swept back in.

We turned our backs to get dressed. I threw my underwear and bra on and ran to pick up my shorts. I threw my shorts and shirt back on and turned to see Jace wearing sweatpants with his abs on display.

"Umm, I-I have to go." I said frazzled as I ran my fingers through my hair. He looked confused at me. "Why are you freaking out about this? It's not like we haven't done this before. " He asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.

"What do you want me to say Jace?! That this is the beginning of something? That this means we are getting back together? That we are supposed to magically fall back in-love? We broke up, three years ago Jace!" I said defensively.

"Then why do this? If you feel absolutely nothing for me then why did last night happen?" he asked with anger in his eyes. "And don't say it's because you were drunk because you were sober enough to know exactly what was happening!" he added.

"I don't know Jace! Maybe I just needed one more time to get everything out of my system." I replied. He looked at me with only one emotion, hurt.

"So what we had, everything that we ever were, is just something that you can wash out of your system?! Like a bad cold?! That's all that last night was to you, was just one last time to get it out of your 'system'?" he asked.

"You know that's not what I mea-" He cut me off. "Then what did you mean Clary? What is this to you because I can't keep going round and round with you waiting for you to make a decision!" I could feel a few tears run down my face as I took in what he was saying.

"You need to make up your damn mind about this clary. You can't just kiss me and say it meant nothing. You can't sleep with me and say it meant nothing especially after EVERYTHING you and I have been through together."

I could hear the tiredness in his voice and I knew that this 'game', as Simon had called it, was going to end soon. That thought alone made me  want to cry and scream at the same time.

"I can't do this right now Jace." I said as I tied my converse back on.

"So we're not even going to talk about this?!" He yelled. "I just can't right now Jace."

I reached the door and right when my hand grabbed the door knob, Jace spoke.

"If you walk out of here right now Clary, If you walk out, That's it. Whatever this is, whatever game you are trying to play, It's over." He said quietly.

Tears were rolling down my face in waves now. "If you walk out and shut that door-" his voice broke "You are shutting the door on us...forever." he finished and I could feel my heart breaking.

Despite the pain in my chest, I just couldn't do all of this right now. "I sorry Jace." I opened the door and turned back to him. "I just can't." I walked into the hallway and shut the door.

I stood out there staring at the door, praying for the second time in my life that he would open the door and tell me it wasn't over, tell me that he wasn't giving up and neither was I. But he didn't. I eventually turned and walked towards my room with my vision blurry from all the tears.

Brody was out on some day trip with Jenna so I would have the room to myself.

It's better this way, I kept telling myself as I laid on the bed. We are both starting our lives soon and who knows what's going to happen once we both start working. If for some reason we have to do long distance, then it might not work out and I don't think I can handle that heartbreak again.

Suuuuure, just keep telling yourself that clary.

I realized what time it was and I showered, and got dressed to go with the girls to get our hair cut for the wedding. I threw on some makeup to cover the fact that I had been crying.

I walked downstairs and up to the girls that were all waiting.

"Hey girl! You ready?" Aline asked as I walked up. "Ya! Totally!" I responded with a fake smile.

They walked ahead outside and Izzy started walking next to me.

"You are going to explain when we get to the salon." She said. "And don't play innocent with me. There is only one person that can make you cry bad enough to need makeup to cover it. You are going to talk about it." She said with a look before we got in the car with the rest of the girls.

Bye Angels,
😘😘

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