One Moment Of Madness (Joe Hart)

Chapter Twenty Five - Found Out

Mid September

I'd been hiding in Southampton for over a week, I only ever left my bed to use the bathroom then I'd lay in the dark all day staring at the four wall of my brothers guest room. Fraser had been amazing he'd taken on looking after my three-year old that I was struggling to look at without my heart falling apart. I missed him but I didn't know what to say... I can't burden his life anymore. I some how had to manage to speak to my son first. I couldn't stay in bed my whole life that achieves nothing.

"Mummmmmy!" as Harry came running into the room with his iPad in his hands.

"Harry mummy isn't up for visitors" as Fraser tried to take him back out of the room.

"Fras it's okay, let him sit on the bed" as I sat up, he was my son and I couldn't take my pain out on him anymore. He deserves to have his mother in his life.

"What did you want to show me?" I asked as he climbed onto the bed. Fraser hovered at the door, I chose to ignore his presence am sure he'll get bored of standing around.

Harry had a video on his screen, what was he about to show me? I held my breath I knew it would be something Joe related.

"When will we see Daddy again?"

"Why do you say that sweetie?"

"Daddy's sad, look he doesn't save no more" as he showed me a video of Joe making some terrible mistakes, maybe the summer had affected him more than he's let on, or this was my fault for avoiding him this past week... I just didn't know what to say...

October

I'd some how managed to pull myself together in the last few weeks, well that's what I was telling myself at least. I was hoping the more I said it the more I'd believe in it. As much as I loved my brother I couldn't stay in Southampton anymore I was getting in the way and I couldn't put my life on hold anymore. Manchester is now home without Joe, I google him about four times a day to check what he was doing. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him. He'd stopped calling me about twenty times a day now. He's got to be really annoyed at me by now. Thinking about him made my heart ache for his company, but there was no way he'd forgive me for not telling him about the baby. My phone vibrated across the bench in front of me.

Joe: what is going on Hol! it's been over a month, I know you're avoiding me. I've spoken to Fraser he won't talk to me says I have to talk to you. But you don't answer me, not leaving me with much of a choice. Btw Italy is great thanks for asking and I'll be home for international duty next week... so you better have an explanation. 

Shit. I was stupid for thinking he wasn't going to be angry with me but he's coming home I can't run away from it anymore. Then it happened again...

Once my breathing had returned back to normal, I reached for my phone. Please answer your phone.

"Hello" he sounded grumpy.

"It happened again"

"what triggered it this time?"

"Text from Joe" I signed I knew the answer before he even said anything.

"Yeah he's well pissed off Hol, he thinks you're cheating on him."

"Fras I'd never do that to him... what did you tell him"

"that I wasn't going to be messenger for this situation anymore, you need to speak to each other or you're going to lose him"

I knew Fraser was right but I hated given into him, it just made his ego bigger.

"Then I guess we'll have that conversation next week" I sighed, no running away from this anymore.