It had been a few weeks since the date. I do have to admit Joe did take me to a fancy restaurant a couple of days later, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The press followed us everywhere, the wedding that didn't happen, euros disaster, are we dating? I think Joe was sick of all the questions and just wanted to move past it and focus on the new season. He'd gone back to training but been benched the first two games of the season, it wasn't looking great. I, on the other hand, had also decided to go back to work, my mother had reappeared after the longest holiday I've ever known after my dad died a subject no one mentioned in front of her. She was only staying in Manchester until Fraser when back to Southampton, you'd think it was her first grandchild the way she was behaving but Fraser was always the golden child it was something I'd grown used to.
I'm currently on set for an online clothing website I was told which one it was but I was half listening to my new assistant. Yep, new assistant Chloe, with Mel now on maternity leave I was left with the backup. She was nice but it was all work related with her I couldn't talk about anything else it was making my days longer. I missed my best friend, but I'd have to get used to it. Work was boring me today, endless standing around in front of a camera with ten makeup and lighting personnel gathered around the place was making me feel uneasy. I shouldn't be feeling like this I've been doing this for years.. maybe this isn't me anymore. "Holly" the photographer yelled at me for like the hundredth time today. "More to the left, this isn't a god damn funeral! Lighten the hell up" he was rude and arrogant.. I was surely putting a complaint in against him once I got out of here and to make note I never work with him again. I can't blame it all on him I have been out of practice for a while, I do need to pull myself together. If I don't this will become the longest shoot in history.
Three more painful hours rolled by and I was finally free. I don't think I've ever left a shoot so quickly. No doubt I'll get an earful from my agent in the morning. Now I'm heading to my boyfriends... did I just say boyfriend.. wow this is weird but a good weird. To forget all about this crappy day. Joe has my number plate programmed into its security system meaning I didn't have to call him to open the gates for me. He's agents car was parked in the driveway, he's been around a lot lately which was never a good sign and after Joe spending another game on the bench for City at the weekend nothing about City was good at the moment. I parked up my own car and made my way to front door, he's given me a key so I could come and go as I pleased. I quietly opened the door not wanting to interrupt their conversation but all I could hear was arguing.. this most definitely isn't good, as I closed the door. "This is the only option! You need to make a decision" as Jason waved his arms around. This seemed heated and no one had noticed I was in the room. "I don't know what to do! This wasn't my decision!" Joe raised his voice. "Time is running out! Unless you want to be number 3 and lose your England place" Jason fired back. Okay hold up did he just say number 3! Shit, the rumours were true... City is signing a new keeper. "Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?" As I threw my keys at the table. The colour has drained from Joe's face, this was a conversation I wasn't meant to know about. Which is making me angrier. "Maybe she can help you come to a decision" as Jason nodded towards me before leaving out of the front door. Leaving me standing in the middle of the kitchen. "Well?" After moments of silence from Joe, I wanted some answers and some sort of explanation. "Just don't" as Joe left the kitchen and went into the living room. I was not backing down out of this conversation as I followed him "Excuse me!" "I don't want to talk about it Hol" as he slammed his hand against the wall. This is clearly bad I've never seen Joe this angry or upset and we'd been through a hell of a lot lately. "So am I just meant to find out with everyone else in the press what's happening with my boyfriend? I thought I meant something to you, Joe!" Something was going on at City and he was refusing to tell me. "You know that. Isn't true" as he shook his head at me, his expression had loosened. "Then tell me, what decision Jason is asking you to make?" As I sat down on the sofa. He ran his hand through his hair. "I don't think you're going to like it but they aren't given me much of an option" as he sat down by side me. "Whatever it is, we can face together" even though I had no idea what he was about to say. "Pep doesn't see me in his team" he pauses "Okay.. surely he can work with you?" I questioned. "He wants me gone" My expression was blank what was I meant to say back to that. "They are loaning me out" okay loan is better than being sold? Right... then why doesn't he look happy about it. "But it's not to an English team" "So you're saying..." this was a lot to take in and I am majorly confused to how football worked. "They want me to find a team abroad" he placed his head into his hands. "Abroad?" I half choked on the word. "Hol, I have two weeks before the transfer window closes. No one wants me here because they've either signed someone or aren't interested" "We really aren't left with any other option?" I think my questions were making this conversation harder for him. "Am sorry" as he reached for my hand. I had to reassure him that no matter what I'd stick by him. "This isn't your decision, you're being forced into this and it's not fair!" As the tears started falling down my face. So much for me making him feel better. How the hell are we going to make this work, where is he going to be sent? Will we ever be allowed to be normal? "I know" as he pulled me into a hug.
Three days later am sat in the stands to watch Joe's last game for City. Champions league play offs with Steaua Bucharest. We still didn't know where he was going out on loan too, tonight that didn't matter tonight was making sure city got a place into the group stages. That was the main focus everything else could wait. Harry was at home with Mel and Fraser as this game was a 8 pm kick off and was going to be emotional game either way. Fraser was apparently injured and hadn't gone back to train with Southampton just yet. I wanted to be amongst the atmosphere so I was sat on behind the subs bench. All I could think about was this shouldn't be happening, he'd given so much to his club and was now being forced out. The Etihad cheered every time Joe came into contact with the ball. Then it would break out into a chant "don't sell Joe Hart" it was playing with my heart strings never mind what was going on in Joe's head right now. As always he had his head in the game but am sure he could hear it even if he was putting on a brave face. What was I struggling with was the fact pep had given Joe the captains armband? Is he just playing with him or doing it because this is his last game? I couldn't understand it. The minutes ticked by and we were coming up to the end of the game quicker than I had hoped, this has been the quickest game of football I've ever seen.
The referee had blown the final whistle that's it, Joe's city career could be over for good. The crowd's chants grew louder "Don't sell Joe Hart" "Super Joey Hart" "City's number one" then I spotted a banner "A good Hart these days is hard to find" the love they had for him was unforgettable. The fans didn't want to lose their number one it was all getting too much for me as the warm damp tears started to flood down my face. Joe was walking around taking it all in clapping the fans and placing his hand over his city badge. He was struggling to keep it together. I think it has finally hit him, he may never play here again never step back out on this pitch as a city player. I was heart broken for him, the applause grew louder as Joe approached the tunnel, he took one final look at the fans before he disappeared down the tunnel. I sat down I didn't want to leave. In the short space of time, I'd known Joe this place had grown on me, I didn't want to leave it either. I put my head in my hands why is this happening...
I'd completely zoned out that I had lent realised the stadium was now completely empty. Just the grounds team out on the pitch. "I've been looking for you" as Joe's voice entered my ear space making me turn to face him. He came and sat down next to me. "At least the team got through to the group stage" he signed... really Joe? Do we really care about that? "I team you'll no longer play for" my eyes were starting to water again. "Hey, why are you crying?" As Joe placed his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "This isn't fair! Didn't you hear the fans! They don't want you gone!" I sobbed. "I heard them, but sadly the fans don't get a say in this. It's up to the important people in the club and he doesn't want me here" I could tell I the tone in his voice this was killing him too. He just wasn't showing it. I signed this was out of our hands we had no control over the future. "No matter what happens this place will always be special for me as will Manchester City, no one can take the amazing ten years I've had here away" Joe continued. I looked up to face him a single tear has dropped from his eye and was rolling down his cheek, he was going to miss this place more than I'd realised.
Goodbye Etihad and Manchester City 💔
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