There's so many positive 4 letter words:
Love
Like
Hope
Care
Life
Then there's negative:
Hate
Evil
Dead
For once in her life Desdemona wanted to hear negative. The word in itself: Negative. Instead she heard positive. Her whole world came tumbling d...
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Friday nights were always the same. Date night. Always the same old, same old dinner at an expensive 5-star restaurant after we both left the office. Salad, entreé, desert and the best wine. The same old, same old conversations about work and politics.
But this date night was different. It was date number eight. Dreaded number 8.
I had been seeing Kyle for almost two months now and month two was usually when I told a man the big news, if everything goes accordingly. Sometimes it's sooner if I really feel a connection. But it's usually month 2 because that's how long I try to put off sexual intercourse. A man will only wait so long before they start to question. Questions lead to answers and they'll get more than they bargained for being inquisitive with me.
The dinner was awkwardly and painfully quiet, but it was because of me. I look across the table at Kyle who's eating his steak. I definitely had a type...clean cut, corporate working men who made at least 6 figures and led a seemingly boring life. The ideal man for husband material in some people's eyes yet I was unmarried at 32.
But that was the same type of man who changed my life forever and not in good way. He's the reason I have to have these uncomfortable talks and explanations with every man I date.
I sip my red wine that the waiter suggested when I asked for their best to cure my parched throat. It dried up like a well at the thought of coming out and speaking these words. This was never easy no matter how many times I've done it.
I place my glass on the table, clear my throat then smooth out my black Alexander Wang knee length dress. My feet were crossed at the ankles as I wore Manolo Blahnik Hangisi Pumps. My heart was pounding as the rate slowed up. The piano and violin that were being played throughout the restaurant sounded as if it had slowed down to a snails pace. I was beginning to think I couldn't do this.
I clear my throat this time garnering Kyle's attention. He looks at me with raised brows as if he was waiting for me to say something. "Is everything okay?" He asks after he finishes chewing.
"I have something I need to tell you," I say after taking a deep breath.
"What is it?" He asks wiping his mouth looking at me with concern.
I look around the restaurant to make sure no one is listening in. Thankfully for the music and people talking at the surrounding tables it wasn't completely quiet in the restaurant. I look back at Kyle as he's just staring at me waiting. "I am HIV positive," I say quickly. Everything after that just spilled out due to nervousness. "I've had it for two years. Luckily they caught it early, but I deal with it everyday. I take my meds, have regular check ups. I still live a pretty normal life. I just have this disease, ya know. This disease that my asshole ex gave me and-"
