The Secret Cheese

Cheese

I sat on my dusty couch in my basement and stared at my cheese collection. I tried to stop myself but the urge was too hard to resist. I ran over to my cheese and rubbed it on my body so hard that the cheese was just a pile of powder on the floor. A few minutes later I noticed someone was staring into the little window at the top of the wall seeing my body covered in powdered cheese. I grabbed my handgun and shot and window. He was not staring anymore, he was sleeping peacefully. My phone rang, it was my mother, she told me that she was coming over to my house to check on me because she always worried about me. I quickly hid the body and covered my cheese collection. I grabbed a large mop and shoved the powdered cheese under a dresser. When she arrived I licked my fish goodbye and threw it into the toilet. I open the door and immediatly I noticed that she was with this man, he was large and handsome, his face was orange and his hair was on point. He shakes my hand and says "Donald Trump nice to meet you" 

An hour later we were sitting and watching keeping up with the kardashians when Donald said "So, how much money do you have?" I say "Not much I spend it all on chee..." I stopped myself. Donald Trump then says "well you know it wasn't easy for me, my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars, next thing you known I'm president of South America, oh I'm doing so good for myself. I am having a bit of an argument with this fat kid in Korea  and he is getting awfully annoying so I sent several military destroyers to his country to try and shut him up but he just won't stop being so mean" I  then rubbed Trumps penile organ with solid cheese and insemenated my underclothes