Riley's Pov - continuing on
I just stare at him. God how much I love him is killing me right now. I know I can't forgive him, I don't want too. I just want him to be mine and only mine.
"I'm lost without you too" I whisper looking down but I see him smile like he just won the lottery.
"But I don't want to go on like this James. I just want you back. But I want my James. Not the James that would tell me he loves me and then sleep with another girl an hour later"
"I know baby I'm sorry" he pleads, his eyes full of tears threatening to spill, very similar to mine right now.
"Don't call me that. You've lost that. And me" I tell him walking up and into my ensuite where I slide down the wall and cry. That's all I want to do right now. Knowing he is still here and hearing this hurts but I just don't know what else to do. I hear footsteps and then soft knocking on the door.
"Riles. Riles please" he begs in a whisper. I then feel him slide down the door also. My cries are loud but I don't care about him hearing. I know it hurts him to hear me cry, it always has. I stop sobbing for a second and hear more sniffles and sobs. James is crying.
Neither of us talk for awhile, we just sit on either side of the door with our eyes leaking. He has no reason to cry. He has everything, girls lined up. Me, I'm alone and now I don't have anyone. It's weird to think that there is only a few centimetres between us and yet I've never felt so alone.
"Come out baby, I don't care if you don't talk but you deserve an explanation. Please" I hear him stand up and I do aswell shaking slightly as I grab the door handle. I open it slowly and see him with a tear stained face. I hate seeing him like this and I never have before, that's why it's hurting so much.
James Pov
I see her with dried tears no longer falling from her face, her eyes still red and puffy like her cheeks but the worst of all is what I see in her eyes. Betrayal & pain
"I don't want to hear it James" she says quietly and walks straight past me.
"Sit down babe, your pizzas getting cold" I tell her calmly walking slowly behind her and pulling out her desk chair to sit on.
"Don't call me babe" she argues but I know not to push it, not now especially.
"Ok so I have explaining to do. Look babe I know I'm an absolute idiot-
"And a dick and an ass and a jerk an absolute-" she continues listing off names to call me. It hurts coming from her but I deserve everything she has to say at me.
"Thankyou for that Riley"
"You deserve it"
"I deserve nothing"
"True true" she sighs and takes a bite of her now cold pizza.
"Ok. When I was 15, my family was going through a really rough patch. My dad would come home drunk and would abuse us. I tried as hard as I could to get my home life away from my social life. I never wanted to go home so I stayed at heaps of friends houses, therefor I was invited to heaps of parties and got involved with a few girls. A couple months later I met you. After that I slowed down with the flings. I didn't stop but I didn't do it often. When the whole thing with Beth happened-"
"Was she one of the- your- your flings?" Riley asks softly.
"No. I was a dickhead but I couldn't do that to you. You already suspected something. When the kiss happened and we broke up I stopped completely and that's when I realised I loved you and I would do anything to keep you. When we got back together I did stop. Completely. One day you went away for a weekend and I got invited to a party so I went. A senior from school spiked my drink and I ended up waking up naked in a strangers bed and I felt horrible" I explain and I see Riley shiver and bite the side of her cheek attempting to hold back the tears.
"So that was jess. The girl you saw at the party. And from there it just continued. I'm so sorry baby" I finish and cry more. I reach out and grab her hands and caress them with me, surprisingly she doesn't pull away.
"You could've told me before James. At least I wouldn't of found out this way" she mumbles and I see a single tear roll down her perfectly crafted face.
"Listen Riley. I want you to listen to me right now. I love you. I always have and I always will. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you ok?"
"Same here. I just don't know if I will ever trust you again."
"I don't deserve you or your trust Riley. But I'm truly sorry."
"Have you ever told any of them you loved them?" She asks softly again
"No Riley. I've only ever said that to one girl. Although I have moaned your name a couple of times in a makeout and I always picture your face on the sluts face when I-"
"James if you ever want this to work you need to not bring up the sluts you've done" she sighs and shuffles away from me dropping my hands.
"Did you just say that there is a possibility for this to work?" I beam.
"Hardly" she says quietly attempting to keep a straight face but it fails and she cracks a small smile before looking up to me. Me on the other hand, I am smiling from ear to ear. I pounce into of her and roll around the bed hugging her.
"James stop" she giggles. "I never said we were getting back together I said maybe might think about the idea of getting back together" she smirks
I pull her and myself to sit up and like a gentleman, I kiss her hand letting my lips linger.
"That's good enough for me"
