Tainted Love [Black Veil Brides]

Chapter 3

“Yeah, and..?” Andy pressed. I sighed and realised I might as well tell him. 

“They don't care about me, they never have. And now, all of a sudden, they act like loving parents when they're not. I told them that and then...my mom slapped me. Hard.” I added, touching my cheek. 

“She did what?” He asked slowly, as if trying to process the information.

“She slapped me.” I shrugged even though he couldn’t see him. I tried not to pass off any unnecessary emotion in my voice.

“And you're okay with it?” He exclaimed. 

“Of course not but Andy, I've suffered worse. One little slap isn't going to make me go into overdrive or anything.” I reassured. There was silence on the other end. 

“Hello? Andy?” I said, trying to get an answer.

“Rose.” I heard him sigh and mumble a few things. 

“What?” I asked, confused.

“This isn't fair, Rose. You shouldn't have to go through this shit. Especially not alone.” He said; his voice a little sad. 

“That's life, Andy.” I shrugged again as he sighed in defeat. “I'll speak to you later, I have to sleep. So do you as you've got school tomorrow. And remember, text me when you feel down and I'll get back to you, okay?” He asked with a hopeful tone.

“Yeah, of course. Goodnight.” I smiled. 

“Night.” He ended the call and I got into bed, the dreaded thought of school crossing my mind. 

***

I had woken up the next day with a smile on my face. I remembered Andy's voice in my head and that made my heart beat a little faster than usual. I was already in school and it was lunch. I sat where I usually did, alone at the lunch table, and a smile found its way onto my face as I received a text from Andy. 

'Afternoon, how are you today? Learn something for me ;) 
- A x'

I grinned but as I began to reply to it, my phone was snatched out of my hand. My head snapped up as I heard a laugh from beside me.
Samantha York and her little posse had come to hound me again. 

She’s hated me since day one and was your cliché bully. She had her little following that did the legwork for her and terrorised the people she didn’t agree with.

“Who's 'A', Rose? Is it your boyfriend?” She laughed, crinkling her nose. 

“Give it back.” I said in a calm voice, not wanting to cause a scene but it looked like she was doing that herself.

“Oh, look.  She wants it back.” She said to her friends in a sardonic tone. “How’s your dad, Rose?”

“Look, can I just have it back? Please?” I asked, praying they wouldn't go through my phone. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists.

“Josh told me you went to the Black Veil Brides concert, yesterday. Did you?” Samantha asked me, referring to another boy in our year.

“What?” 

“Only I heard you ran out crying like the freak you are.” There was that word again. They didn't even know they were doing it. I didn't really know how to reply.  “You did?!” She asked, shocked as I didn’t respond. I turned my face away from her as she laughed at me, her friends joining in. They stopped and Samantha lowered her face to mine. “There's a reason you don't have any friends. And that's because you're an ugly loser with freaks for parents. You could go die in a hole, bitch and nobody would even notice.” She spat at me as she walked away. She chucked my phone behind her and I just about caught it.

I took deep breaths to steady my thoughts and I collected my things, getting out of the canteen. People were laughing and pointing, making me feel frustrated and upset. I exited the school as I just couldn't deal with everybody right now. As if going through the motions, I went home and dropped my bags at the door. I opened my drawer, finding the blade I'd kept in there and headed for the bathroom. 

***

I was back to where I started. The reality of what Samantha had told me sunk in. Not only was she correct, she was spot on. I was a freak, a loser, a nobody. If I died, not one person would care. I was sobbing now, putting the razor to my arm. I increased the pressure so the blade pierced my skin nicely. I was about to go deeper when my phone rang. I heard the chorus of 'Saviour' and dropped the blade out of my hand. The words echoed through my head as I picked my phone up, still in a daze. 

“Hello?” I said, my voice breaking.

“Rose, whatever you're doing, stop.” I widened my eyes as Andy spoke to me. 

“What?” I asked, confused. “How did you know I was doing anything?” I sniffed. 

“Well, I didn't. Not properly anyway. I had a...feeling. A bad one. But from your voice, you're crying which means you were going to do something, right?” Andy said; his tone uneasy. I stayed silent as I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to know I'd been cutting again, even when he told me not to.  “Say that you didn't...” He trailed off into incoherent words.

“I'm sorry, Andy. I tried, I really did.” I apologised. “I just let things get to me and I couldn't help myself. I couldn't take it, Andy. I needed it...” I trailed off, my eyes watering. 

“Fuck that!” Andy roared into the phone making me jump a little. “Don't you see? You're beautiful and you shouldn't be harming yourself. Forget about them all, Rose, they're not important! I want you to be safe and happy.” He told me, his voice softening. 

“Why?” I challenged. 

“What do you mean?” Andy asked. 

“Why do you care? It's not like I'm important to you. I mean, you don't even know me and you think you can tell me how to live my life? I don't have a choice.” I said, my voice steely. 

“Don't you dare, Rose. I care about you because that night, after the concert, I fucking kissed you and you kissed me back. It wasn't just an average kiss, it was something else, Rose. But yeah, you're right. I don't know you, but you're important to me because we shared something that night and damn, I've been thinking about it ever since it fucking happened.” Andy finished speaking, hurt dripping off his words.

I stayed silent, thrown by his reply. It was a lot to take in and I knew he was waiting for an answer. Andy didn't say anything after that and there was an awkward silence. I didn't know whether to believe him or not so I decided to change the subject. 

“So, how's the band doing?” I said, hoping he'd take the hint. I gave him a nervous chuckle.

“Didn't you hear what I just said?” Obviously he hadn't understood my need to change the topic. 

“I heard...” I trailed off, playing with the bottom of my shirt. 

“And?” Andy asked. 

“I...don't know what to say? I mean, I'm amazed that you call me even though you don't really have to but thinking about the kiss? There's a part of me that just doesn't believe you. You don't have to make up stories in order for me to trust you. I already do.” I told him truthfully. I heard a groan come from the other end and I raised an eyebrow. 

“It’s not about that, Rose!” He stressed. “Please, just stop it. Please.” Andy pleaded, a sadness that could only come from deep inside. 

“I –” 

“Please.”

“I can’t.”