All You Had To Do Was Stay

25. When Green Met Blue

"Our memory will be my lullaby."

            -Sing me to sleep, Alan Walker
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I make sure I locked the door of my bedroom, and I switched on the nightlight. I've read this very book so many times when Dad was...yeah...because to be honest, I thought I was going to be staying with grandma and my aunt for a long time. As in years until I could finally live alone. There were so many times along the first month I thought he'd never wake up. I've been called several times, had been told his breathing or heartbeats are irregular, something about him maybe waking up any second, or losing his living breath.

There was a point where his heartbeats slowed down treacherously, to the point I thought that that was it. It was the fifth month during his coma. No one knew what to do other than do those shock things where it sends impulses for the heart to beat faster. Then we waited. Its rate kept going up and down for a week, so I did what I thought was okay at the time. I played his favourite songs by mom. He said once, when she was on her third tour for her album Red, that listening to some of her lullabies cause his distress to fade away like it was never there.

He also told me during that tour that he "wanted" to take me to my first concert, and so that we would surprise mom. But I knew better, he just missed her. He never admitted it to me but I bet he did to her. But he was right, mom did know how to make a great show. It was the one in New York, and I got to meet Ed Sheeran and Fall Out Boy. I don't want to say I was privileged because...well...I kinda snuck in backstage when Dad "specifically " told me not to go until the end of it. I mean come on, was I going to wait until they possibly left?

Hell no.

Also, mom was so surprised but she didn't even have time to react as she was rushed into the changing room. God that was so much fun. Dad came after me then and pinched my ear, it was totally worth it.

I lie down on my side and open it to a random page. Mom had been writing in it around the time she started doing her third album, after she physically met dad. It was also the time she...got pregnant with me. She's been writing in it for three years or something, all I know is it was for a really long time until she actually put something solid into the album.

It was mostly lines from her songs and something scribbled fast regarding each song.

2000
    Romantic movie scenes are perfect, like the ones when the boy runs after the girl while it's raining, fixing everything by just his kiss. Isn't that a beautiful concept? And those tiny little sparks that erupt from magical moments, just like flames that light up the place. It's so mesmerising.

    Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain,
Kiss me on the sidewalk-
Take away the pain
'Cause I've seen sparks fly whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down
Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around
'Cause I've seen sparks fly whenever you smile

    Fireworks are the best in those moments.

I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild
Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right
And lead me up the staircase, won't you whisper soft and slow
"I'm captivated by you baby like a fireworks show..."