The diary

The diary 3 - Reunion with a soulmate

Her work had stagnated and she needed to pursue a further degree and study more. She applied for business schools at the top most colleges. Being the smart woman she was, she got a scholarship for London Business School. The lure was too much and I could not be a hindrance to her career. I only asked her once that what did her heart want? She had replied that she had promised herself she would study at the best college she would get no matter what. So that was the end of it. We both were realistic enough to know that we were not made for long distance relationships. Sadly with a heavy heart I met her for the last time at Marine Drive carrying with me a box of chocolates. Little did she know that I had planned to propose to her in a month's time and marry her the next summer. I had even gone out and invested my life's savings in a ring for her. But that was not meant to happen. I just sat beside her taking in the sea breeze one last time in the glistening moonlight. I pecked her on the cheek and gave her a tight hug and left. That was the last time I saw her or talked to her.

The break-up was hard for me. It is difficult to get out of a long relationship, especially one as kickassly awesome as ours. It is as if you are on a drug and you become addicted to it and one day suddenly the drug disappears. There is pitch darkness and heart breaking loneliness. So after 1 and a half years of togetherness I was single again. She must have tried to call or contact me but I had changed my numbers. I even went off social media. I became invisible for her. I knew being in contact would only bring more hurt. I had hoped she would choose me over her career but that was not meant to happen. I was lost and empty minded for a couple of months.

Then I just decided to immerse myself in work and I started taking far flung stories and worked hours that were not even on the clock. I shifted to the New Delhi branch of my newspaper. My personal social life went for a toss. But being in the journalism business I was constantly surrounded by people and I just managed to survive. Slowly given my calibre I got promoted fast and I worked at the paper for 2 more years. Then I gave up that job to become a full time writer and I published my first book last month. Things were not awesome but I had managed. I had come back to my parents in Mumbai. Earlier my parents were worried and they tried the arranged marriage card. I flat out refused it. I was not going to be with someone else. They gave up any parental hope and let me be. I would think of Ela from time to time and smile at our memories. But never did I contact her or cross paths with her. Not until last Sunday.

I had not gone to any parties and this was one I had attended after a long time because a childhood friend Umesh had practically forced me to come. Little did I know she would be there too. As I saw her at the party, all the packed up memories in the innermost beings of my core came flooding back. I froze for a second. Then I quickly regained control and met my friend and exchanged pleasantries. I wanted to steal a glance at her once again and I looked at her. She was looking dead straight at me with her piercing glare. My heart started pounding and I quickly broke off eye contact. I moved around and caught up with other friends and tried avoiding her through the night. My mind was buzzing with a thousand questions that I wanted to ask her. My heart longed to just go and give her a tight hug. One sight of her and the 5 years which had gone seemed nothing. Where had she been for so long? What was she doing now? What was she doing here? But most importantly, was she happy?

I knew that it was only inevitable that we would come face to face soon. I knew and the thought made me giddy with joy and dizzy with anxiety at the same time. I could not face her so unexpectedly. I excused myself and just left. I mentally made a note to thank Umesh for inviting me and would later explain to him that some emergency had caused me to leave so abruptly. I went home and locked myself in the bedroom and the Sunday night was spent in deep thought. I never knew when I slept and woke up late the other day. Being a writer has its perks and one of which is you can work at your own pace and time. I had to attend promotional events for my book in a suburban mall and my week was packed. My book was slowly picking up and my publisher assured me that the book had substance. I remember I had gotten ready and was finishing off my John Grisham novel when the message popped up. ' Ela here. I wanna talk.' That's it. It was so classic of her to say the bare minimum on a text message.

I tried ignoring it and went about my day. I knew that my heart had been broken once and I could not go through it ever again. I had a busy Monday and I immersed myself in promoting my book and answering questions to the small of group of readers who had come to the event. The next morning a second text popped up from the same source. 'Please.' There are some times in your life when your brain says that the road ahead is not worth it but the heart says damn it and do it. This was one of those times. I did not want to regret it 10 years down the line. I replied with 'Our place. Tomorrow evening at 7.' Pat came the reply with a 'Sure.'

It was a restless day and a restless night. Thoughts dancing in my mind with all gusto as if they were dancing in a wedding procession. Was she okay? Why had she come back to my life again? What did she wanna talk about? Did she have any problems? Did she want me back? How long had she been in India? Was she single? Could we have a future together? I had no answer to any of the questions and I eagerly waited for the next evening.

I had cleared up my evening and cancelled an event and my publisher was pissed. But love triumphs all work. Always. I had worn the shirt she had given me on our first year anniversary and went to our place. This was a small café in the interiors of Dadar which we both loved. We had discovered it while strolling one evening on the streets. We loved the food and the ambience. I reached the place by a quarter to seven and pulled up a chair and sat at the table. Fond memories of the place and the time I had spent with her dwelled on my mind. I waited patiently and twiddled my thumbs nervously. And in she came at 7 sharp.

I have always wondered how a person could lose his breath upon seeing someone every time but her sight did that to me. She had worn a long flowery gown and had put up some kohl which always made me crazy for her. She spotted me and walked in with a slight smile. I hugged her and pulled a chair for her and then sat opposite to her. She smiled some more knowing I used to do it always for her in our heydays.

We sat there lost in each other's presence for sometime, till our eyes became moist. I ordered two cups of coffee and her favourite Mexican sandwich with extra cheese and sauce. There was so much to talk about and yet the words wouldn't come. Then she started it with the simple 'how was I?'. This broke the ice and we started talking about all that we had missed in each other's lives during the gone couple of years. She was curious about my life and I narrated it in the most straight forward way I could. Then she asked in a teasing way whether I had any more relationships? This brought a sad smile on my face and I replied that I had not found anyone as awesome as her. Now it was her turn to smile. Having completed my story she filled me in on her side of the story.

Ela had shifted to England and immersed herself in studies and part time work to overcome the break-up. She had tried contacting me many times but couldn't reach me. She felt guilty that she was the reason that they had to end their marvellous journey and this made her focus even more on her studies. She made a few friends but never let anyone take my place. She passed out of college with excellent qualifications and went on to work at a big MNC. She worked like there was no tomorrow and she got promoted far head than her colleagues. But throughout her time she felt a hollowness, a longing that something was missing. She wanted to come back to India and meet me but she could not muster up the courage. Until last month her mom became sick and she left everything and came back to India.

Ela's mom had also tried to convince her, over the years, to forgive me but she couldn't succeed. She knew she would not live much longer and she confessed to Ela that she was proud that her daughter loved a man so dearly. Her only last wish was that she get back together with me. Atleast try. She further said that in her young age she had loved someone but did not have the courage to confess it to him and had instead married her father. Saying so she died leaving Ela alone. A distraught Ela got the impetus and had contacted a couple of mutual friends and arranged everything so we could meet. She also later came to know that her mother had contacted her friends herself to know whether I was single. What a mother!

As she finished this she was now crying and I got up and sat beside her and held her in my arms and gently stroked her hair. I pressed her against me and felt as if the world was worth living again. I gave her a glass of water, got up and pulled the chair back. I removed the shiny ring which I had bought all those years back and went down on knee and asked her,

"Will you marry me, my love?"