chapter 3
***************************************************************************************
The second I stepped one foot out into the shadowed alley, I knew what an Absolute idiot I was being. Everything seemed darker, colder, and more dangerous; like I had crossed the lines of an invisible territory separating normal society from the ruthless, cutthroat land of the less fortunate. It sounded mean, and maybe I was stereotyping, but I had lived here all my life and witnessed on a daily bases what alleys like this did to people.
"Little girl?" I called out, my voice shaking from both the cold and I'll admit, the pure fight I felt being out here alone.
Nothing.
Of course not, I thought.
Things like this were not meant to be easy, but I wasn't going anywhere without making sure that girl was safe.
So I did the next stupid thing I could do, I kept on walking.
The ice was hard, slippery and the air smelled like a mixture of urine and garbage. I wrapped my scarf around my nose and mouth so I wouldn't have to breathe it in.
The farther I walked, the darker it became.
Didn't they put a single street lamp down here? It was completely black out; several times I nearly slipped from the slick snow beneath my feet. I narrowed my eyes and further down it looked like there was a fire burning in a metal trash can.
It was my only hope of where the girl could be. The buildings looked abandoned, and if she was in any of them, I would never find her.
"Hey you," a cold, hard raspy voice startled me.
I shook a little, and turned around to see who the voice belonged to.
"Ye-ye-yes?" I asked, wishing I hadn't sounded so scared.
It was an older man, maybe in his forties I wasn't sure. It was too dark, so I couldn't see his face, but his voice alone was something to be afraid of. He was a man, a desperate stranger and I was alone with him.
My pulse beat like a wild wave of terror cursing through my veins and for a whole minute I think I forgot how to breathe, "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here, don't you know it's dangerous?"
He said the last part with a mocking laugh and when I took a giant step to further myself away from him his face hardened, "where you think you're going girly?"
"I-stay away from me, I don't want any trouble, I'm just looking for a little girl, maybe you've seen her?" I asked, debating whether to run or not.
"What are you, child services?" he snorted.
"What, no, I just want to help her," I said watching him intently.
Even in the dark, I could see the cynicism on his face, "So your one of those than," he gaffed, chuckling mockingly at me.
"One of what?" I asked frowning.
He leaned forward, "Trying to save the world like your Chicago's very own Mother Theresa, only you don't know that you can't, that no one can" he shook his head and started to walk away, "you will though, you'll learn, they always do." And with that he disappeared; the dark building hiding him in its shadow like a protective blanket and he was gone.
What the hell was that about?
I thought maybe he would rob me, steal my coat and maybe my shoes, but a lecture was not one of the frightful things I had anticipated on getting out here tonight.
I was standing there in the dark when a shuffling sound startled me and I looked all around with frantic eyes. What now, some guy coming to tell me not to cheat on my taxes?
"I thought I told you to leave me alone," her voice was annoyed, frustrated even.
"I know what you said, but let me help you," I said taking a step closer, "I can't just leave you out here, you're so young," I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I don't want your help lady, I'm not going back there, not ever and I f I go with you, that's exactly where they'll put me!" she yelled.
And I mean actually yelled. There wasn't a scared thing about the way she was talking to me, or telling me, because she was. She was telling me, demanding I leave her alone and I was embarrassed to admit it was working.
"No one will make you go anywhere, I only want to get you out of the cold, it's dangerous out here," I said trying to reason with her.
"Ha," she spat, "dangerous, out here, maybe it's rough, but I can handle rough," she said revealing a short, thick wooden stick she had concealed in the breast of her jacket.
"Now I told you before, if you don't want trouble leave, because I'll give you trouble," she warned.
I thought about Sam. How it would break his heart to see such a hardened little girl, so afraid and ruthless, willing to do anything to not go back to where ever she came from.
Maybe that guy was right. Maybe I couldn't save everyone, but I knew that. It wasn't about saving everyone; I just wanted to help, to help this girl. I wanted to make her feel safe and help her to understand that not everyone was bad or willing to hurt her.
"I came all the way out here for you, please," I asked or maybe I was begging. I don't know what it was about this stubborn little girl, but I couldn't leave, I wouldn't leave, not until she came with me. I stepped towards her and didn't even realize what she had done until it was too late.
If I thought it was dark before, there was nothing to compare the darkness that seemed to be spilling in front of my eyes at this very instant. My head ached and the warm fluid flowing down the side of my face felt nice against my cold skin.
In the back ground I could hear muffled crying and someone apologizing over and over. They didn't mean too, they were sorry and then there was the scatter of snow heavy footsteps throttling away from me.
I felt alone, but peaceful, sleepy even. Was I in bed? Wasn't I out in the alley searching for that little girl? I couldn't remember, I only wanted to sleep. To close my eyes and fall away into the darkness tugging at my sleeves and pulling my eyelids shut.
So I did just that. I fell asleep and dreamed. I dreamed of making hot coco. Of tucking the small girl into bed, warm and clean. When I was walking away I think I even saw her smile.
"Wake up, you have to wake up!"
Someone was shaking me, ruining the dream I was having.
"What do you want?" my voice was weak and barely audible.
"I'm trying to help you, I'm going to life you up, is that okay?"
He asked, but I heard him mumble something like wouldn't matter anyways.
The next thing I felt was strong arms wrapped beneath my waist and legs as he hauled me up off the ground and into the air.
I opened my eyes and stared at the stranger through blurry eyes. The same stranger who had been at the shelter. The one that looked so familiar, but I couldnt place.
"I know you," I said leaning my head against his chest, trying to make myself stay awake. I didn't want to, but something was telling me if I fell asleep again, it wouldn't be good.
The last thing I remember was banging on the door and the soft whisper of his worried voice," yes Nicky, you know me, now hold on okay, im getting you help." I felt his cold hand on my face and soothigly running through my hair.
And then once again, even though I tried not to, everything went black and I hoped I was only sleeping.
